frame-of-mind/src/internationalisation.csv

1	keys	en	de	es	ja	notes
2	Accessibility, Disclaimers and Content Notes	Accessibility, Disclaimers and Content Notes	Barrierefreiheit und Erwartungsmanagement
3	menu_okay	Okay	O.K.
4	menu_back	Go Back	Zurück
5	menu_save_all	Save all	Alles speichern
6	menu_skip_all	Skip All	Alles Überspringen
7	Audio and Language	Audio and Language	Sprache und Sound
8	mute Soundtrack	Mute Soundtrack	Musik aus
9	mute Sound-Effects	Mute Sound-Effects	Effekte aus
10	Volume Sliders	Volume Sliders	Lautstärkeregler
11	Music	Music	Musik
12	Sounds	Sounds	Geräusche
13	Speech	Speech	Sprache
14	Sum	Sum	Summe
15	Headphone-Mode (may fix missing speech)	Headphone-Mode (may fix missing speech)	Kopfhörer-Modus (könnte fehlende Sprachausgabe beheben)
16	This setting disables the surround center channel. May resolve you not hearing speech when your Operating Sustem has a misconfigured surround setup.	This setting disables the surround center channel. May resolve you not hearing speech when your Operating Sustem has a misconfigured surround setup.	Diese Einstellung deaktiviert den Center-Kanal. Solltest du wegen einer fehlerhaften Surround-Konfiguration keine Sprachausgabe hören, könnte diese Option das beheben.
17	Language Settings	Language Settings	Spracheinstellungen
18	Interface	Interface	Oberfläche
19	Voice Lines	Voice Lines	Sprachausgabe
20	Find Subtitle Settings in Acessability Settings.	Find Subtitle Settings in Acessability Settings.	Untertiteloptionen sind unter Optionen für Barrierefreiheit.
21	use OS Language	use OS Language	Betriebssystemsprache nutzen
22	English	English	Englisch
23	German	German	Deutsch
24	title_content_notes	Content Notes	Sensible Inhalte
25	menu_cn_enable	Show the topics in advance.	Vorwarnungen zu Themen geben
26	menu_cn_enable_tooltip	Content Notes are shown before you pick up a menento. They are an alternative to “Trigger Warnings”	Content Notes werden angezeigt, bevor du eine Erinnerung einsammelst. Dies ist eine Alternative zu “Triggerwarnungen”.
27	menu_cn_allow_skips	Allow me to decline hearing a story.	Ich möchte Geschichten auslassen können.
28	menu_cn_allow_skips_tooltip	You can choose to not hear a memory and not play with the thoughts connected to it. All memories have neutral summaries you can choose to read.	Du kannst dich entscheiden Erinnerungen nicht zu hören und ohne die damit verbundenen Gedanken zu spielen. Alle Erinnerungen haben neutral formulierte Zusammenfassungen.
29	menu_cn_allow_returns	Allow me to discard thoughts.	Ich möchte Gedanken wegwerfen können.
30	menu_cn_allow_returns_tooltip	You can choose to erase thoughts by returning them to their memento.	Du kannst Gedanken los werden, in dem du sie zu ihrem Memento zurückbringst.
31	menu_cn_disclaimer	This game deals with heavy topics.	In diesem Spiel geht es um schwere Themen.
32	menu_cn_summary	These options provide accessiblity and allow you to play as you like. Hover on each option to learn more.	Diese Optionen machen das Spiel zugänglicher, weil du entscheiden kannst, wie du spielen möchtest. Hover to learn more.
33	menu_cn_learn_more	I would like to know more.	Ich würde gern mehr wissen.
34	menu_cn_warm_title	I would like some reassuring words.	Ich brauche ermutigende Worte.
35	menu_cn_warm	This is a game about acceptance and understanding. Some play this game to understand themselves, some play it to understand a friend, some play it to understand this character I wrote and very few play it to understand me. Whatever feels right is up to you. Please understand also that I know this game might hurt and that I have faith you can grow from it. And yes, I am being intentually misleading because life is messy and you have the wits to see trough it yourself.	In diesem Spiel geht es um Akzeptanz und Empathie. Manche spielen es um sich selbst zu verstehen, manche spielen es um ein\*e Freund\*in zu verstehen, manche versuchen diesen Charakter zu verstehen, den ich geschrieben habe und sehr wenige versuchen sogar mich zu verstehen. Du musst selbst entscheiden, was davon richtig ist. Was du allerdings über mich verstehen solltest ist ich weiß, dass dieses Spiel dir weh tun kann und, dass ich Vertrauen habe, dass du daraus Wachsen kannst. Und ja, ich bin teilweise absichtlich verwirrend. Leben ist verwirrend und du hast das Zeug, dass du es selbst entwirrst.			leave the [ul] and [/ul] please avoid using gendered words for betalars if possible (they are non-binary)
36	menu_cn_harsh_title	Be frank with me.	Sei einfach dierekt.
37	menu_cn_harsh	This game has Content Notes for a reason. Its main character has gone trough some shit and has internalized a lot of it. Life did not give them a good hand and they now have to deal with it. That is the point. This is no escapism and shouldn’t be a substitute for therapy. It is meant to be a challge in empathy and radical acceptance. And if you are mad at me for the thoughts I gave my character, I’m afraid you failed that challenge. And I’ve seen how hard this game can hit at times and I am fine with that because believe me life hits harder.	Das Spiel wirkt zahm, aber es hat nicht ohne Grund content Notes. Dieser Charakter hat ziemliche Scheiße erlebt und hat die Scheiße auch gut internalisiert. Das Leben gibt vielen Leuten einfach eine miese Hand, und sie müssen damit klar kommen. Darum geht es. Das Spiel bietet kein Eskarpismus und es sollte auch nicht als Therapie dienen. Was es bestenfalls ist: eine Übung in Empathie und radikaler Akzeptanz. Und falls du wütend auf mich bist für die Gedanken, die ich meiner Figur gegeben habe, bist du an dieser Übung leider gescheitert. Und ich habe gesehen, dass dieses Spiel manche ziemlich doll mitnimmt. Aber das Leben haut noch ganz anders rein.
38	menu_cn_somber_title	What is this about?, in neutral words. (Content Notes)	Worum geht es im Spiel (Content Notes)
39	menu_cn_somber	This game tells an honest and acessible story about neurodivergence and trauma. It shares lived experiences of many neurodivergent people, including this games main developer. This game has a lot of toxic thoughts you have to deal with and depending on your choices and also luck, you won’t be able to resolve everything. It takes acceptance to complete the game the intended way. This game discusses bullying, alienation, (internalized) mysoginy, sanisn, body issues (disphoria), birth-names, eating issues, burnout and trauma. The main character will share a memory of non-consensual sex that they blame themselves for. If you want to resolve that blame, don’t jump on the first train when moving on.	Dieses Spiel erzählt eine ehrliche und zugängliche Geschichte über Trauma und Aufwachsen als neurodivergente Personen. Es teilt echte Lebensgeschichten, auch die des Developers. Dieses Spiel hat toxische Gedanken, mit denen du umgehen musst und abhängig von deinen Entscheidungen und von Glück wirst du nicht alles auflösen können. Akzeptanz gehört zu den Fähigkeiten, die das Spiel herausfordern möchte. In der Geschichte geht es um Mobbing, (internalisierte) Mysogonie, Isolation, Diskriminierung wegen Psyche, Essstörungen, Burnout und Trauma. Das Spiel erzählt auch eine Erinnerung an nicht einvernehmlichen Sex, an dem sich Schuld gegeben wird. Wenn du diese Schuldgefühle auflösen möchtest, nimm nicht die erste Bahn, wenn du fortfährst.			The Rape being discussed in this game is non-consensual sex, but also non-voilent.
40	Mental Health Accessibility Options	Mental Health Accessibility Options	Barrierefreiheit für psychische Störungen
41
42	show content notes during the game	show content notes during the game	Inhaltswarnungen im Spiel anzeigen
43	allow me to skip scenes	allow me to skip scenes	Überspringen von Szenen ermöglichen
44	[center][i]I assure you I did my best, But I am only human and this is just one game.[/i][/center]	[center][i]I assure you I did my best, But I am only human and this is just one game.[/i][/center]	[center][i]Ich verspreche ich habe mein Bestes getan, Aber ich bin nur ein Mensch und das ist nur ein Spiel.[/i][/center]			This is intentionally phrased as “only one game” instead of “only a game”, hinting at it being meaningful, but limited in what it can convey on its own.
45	menu_new_game	new Game	neues Spiel
46	menu_continue	continue	weiter spielen
47	menu_load	load Save	Spiel laden
48	menu_open_settings	settings	Einstellungen
49	menu_title_accessibility	Accessability Settings	Optionen für Barrierefreiheit
50	menu_title_audio	Audio Configuration	Audioeinstellungen
51	menu_title_video	Video Settings	Grafik			In the context of a settings menu selection
52	menu_title_gameplay	Gameplay Settings	Spieloptionen			In the context of a settings menu selection
53	menu_save_continue	Save and continue	Speichern und weiter
54	menu_save	Save	Speichern
55	Content Notes	Content Notes	Sensible Inhalte			In the context of a settings menu selection
56	Video Settings	Video Settings	Grafikeinstellungen			In the context of a settings menu selection
57	General	General	Allgemeines			In the context of a video settings menu
58	apply preset	Apply Preset	Voreinstellungen
59	Performance	Low	Niedrig
60	Balanced	Middle	Mittel
61	Quality	High	Hoch
62	Fulscreen Mode	Fullscreen Mode	Fenster-Modus
63	Windowed	Windowed	Im Fenster
64	Fullscreen	Fullscreen	Vollbild
65	exclusive Fullscreen	exclusive Fullscreen	exklusives Vollbild
66	Rendering Scale	Rendering Scale	Skalierung
67	reset	reset	zurücksetzen
68	Super Resolution	Super Resolution	Super Resolution
69	disabled	Disable	Deaktiviert
70	limit FPS	Limit FPS	FPS begrenzen
71	Graphic Fidelity	Graphic Fidelity	Graphische Qualität
72	Global Illumination	Global Illumination	Globale Illumination
73	minimum	Minimum	Minimum
74	low (SDF Global Illumination)	Low (SDF Global Illumination)	Niedrig (SDF Illumination)
75	medium (SDF and Screen Space Global Illumination)	Medium (SDF and Screen Space Global Illumination)	Mittel (SDF-Beleuchtung und SSGI)
76	high (SDF and Screen Space Global Illumination)	High (SDF and Screen Space Global Illumination)	Hoch (SDF-Beleuchtung und SSGI)
77	Shadow Quality	Shadow Quality	Schatten Qualität
78	performance	Performance	Leistung
79	balanced	Balanced	Ausgeglichen
80	quality	Quality	Höchste Qualität
81	Texture Filtering	Texture Filtering	Texturfilterung
82	1x (very fast)	1x (very fast)	1x (sehr schnell)
83	2x (fast)	2x (fast)	2x (schnell)
84	4x (average)	4x (average)	4x (medium)
85	8x (slow)	8x (slow)	8x (langsam)
86	16x (slowest)	16x (slowest)	16x (am langsamsten)
87	Anti Aliasing	Anti Aliasing	Kantenglättung
88	enabled	Enable	Aktiviert
89	adaptive	Adaptive	Adaptiv
90	Letterbox	Letterbox	Letterbox
91	close	Close	Zurück
92	discard	Discard	Verwerfen
93	save and apply	Save and Apply	Speichern und Anwenden
94	Settings have been modified. Do you really want to leave without saving?	Settings have been modified. Do you really want to leave without saving?	Es gibt nicht gespeicherte Änderungen. Möchtest du wirklich zurück ohne zu speichern?
95	leave	Leave	Wirklich verlassen
96	save	Save	Speichern
97	abort	Abort	Abbrechen
98	Gameplay Settings	Gameplay Settings	Spieleinstellungen
99	invert Y (gamepad)	invert Y (gamepad)	Y-Achse invertieren
100	Input Sensitivity	Input Sensitivity	Eingabesensibilität
101	Stream Overlay	Stream Overlay	Stream-Einblendungen
102	Displays content note and currently playing music at a corner of the screen.	Displays content note and currently playing music at s corner of the screen.	Zeigt Hinweise zu sensiblen Themen und aktuell laufender Musik an einer Ecke des Bildschirms an.
103	none	none	keine
104	top left	top left	oben links
105	top right	top right	oben rechts
106	bottom left	bottom left	unten links
107	bottom right	bottom right	unten rechts
108	save and exit	save and exit	speichern und zurück
109	Content Settings	Content Settings	sensible Inhalte
110	Start new game.	Start new game.	Neuen Spielstand anlegen.
111	Empty Slot	Empty Slot	leerer Spielstand
112	Intro Sequence	Intro Sequence	Einleitung
113	Inside youth room.	Inside youth room.	Im Jugendzimmer.
114	Transitioning to voluntary year.	Transitioning to voluntary year.	Übergang zum FSJ.
115	Exploring social service year.	Exploring social service year.	Während des FSJ.
116	Transitioning to university.	Transitioning to university.	Übergang zur Universität.
117	Exploring dorm room.	Exploring dorm room.	Während des Studiums.
118	Ending	Ending	Ende
119	c_homework	I never put in much effort for homework,	Ich habe mir nie Mühe bei Hausaufgaben gegeben,
120	p_good_grades	but at least I get good grades.	aber zumindest waren meine Noten gut.
121	p_upset_peers	my peers were upset about that.	meine Klasse war deswegen sauer.
122	c_teachers	I like my teachers more than my classmates,	Ich komm mit meinen Lehrern besser klar, als mit meiner Klasse,
123	p_volunteering	doing voluntary social service at my school would be great.	vielleicht sollte ich ein FSJ vor dem Studium machen.
124	p_becoming_teacher	Maybe I want to become a teacher.	vielleicht sollte ich Lehrerin werden.
125	c_gifted	Mr Thomas said that I was gifted	Herr Thomas sagt ich sei hochbegabt
126	p_worried_mother	my mother would be worried about that.	meiner Mutter macht das Sorgen.
127	p_joy	I can put ages into things I enjoy,	Ich versinke schnell in Dingen, die mir Freude machen.
128	c_comic_heroes	Comic heroes are my role models,	Comic Helden sind meine Vorbilder,
129	p_effort	when I put in the effort, I can make the world a better place!	wenn ich mich nur anstrenge, kann ich die Welt verbessern!
130	p_agent_q	and I want to be like Agent Q!	Ich will so sein, wie Agent Q!
131	c_boy_stuff	I like boy stuff,	Ich mag Jungs Kram,
132	p_pretending	yet they think I'm just pretending.	aber die denken ich tu einfach nur so.
133	p_girls	and girls don't get that.	und Mädchen verstehen das einfach nicht!
134	c_teasing	When my friend got teased, I lashed out to defend them	Ich verteidige mit vollem Elan Freund*innen, die geärgert werden
135	p_my_own_good	I wouldn't have it any other way, even if it was for my own good.	das würde ich nicht aufgeben, selbst wenn es mir helfen würde.
136	p_good_intended	I will always stand up for the good intended!	ich werde immer für Menschen einstehen, die das Richtige wollen!
137	c_jui_jutsu	I stopped doing jiu-jitsu,	Ich habe mit Jiu Jitsu aufgehört,
138	p_body	my body just didn't feel right.	mein Körper hat sich falsch anfefühlt.
139	p_girly	I just hate being treated like a girl.	ich hasse es wie ein Mädchen behandelt zu werden.
140	c_hit	I know how to properly hit people,	Ich weiß, wie man ordentlich zuschlägt,
141	p_confidence	that gives me a lot of confidence.	das gibt mir viel Selbstvertrauen.
142	p_vent	and that's a great vent.	ich kann da gut Frust ablassen.
143	Lukas did not ask for consent, he didn't explain a thing, I didn’t even move! Yet he dared to assume, that	Lukas did not ask for consent, he didn't explain a thing, I didn’t even move! Yet he dared to assume, that	Lukas hat mich nicht gefragt, er hat nichts erklärt und trotzdem wagte er es zu glauben:			It is very crucial that this sentence and the next line form a complete sentence
144	p_wet	I was wet, so I must have been into it?	Ich war feucht, also hab ich es wohl gewollt?			This line on itself should seem like a intrusive thought on it’s own without the contect above.
145	Lukas jumped me, he didn't even explain a thing or ask consent. I was confused and paralised, so	Lukas jumped me, he didn't even explain a thing or ask consent. I was confused and paralised, so	Lukas hat mich überrumpelt, er hat nichts erklärt oder überhaupt gefragt, was ich wollte. Ich war im Moment nicht mehr ich selbst und			It is very crucial that this sentence and the next line form a complete sentence
146	p_stop	I didn’t say stop.	Ich habe nicht Stopp gesagt.			This line on itself should seem like a intrusive thought on it’s own without the contect above.
147	c_out_of_world	I feel like I am not of this world,	Ich fühl mich wie von einer anderen Welt,
148	p_unique	I like being unique like that.	ich mag es so besonders zu sein.
149	p_few_friends	I am thankful for the few friends that get me.	gut, dass ich ein paar Freunde habe, die das verstehen.
150	c_rejection	I fear being rejected,	Ich habe Angst, ausgeschlossen zu werden,
151	p_finding_friends	that makes it hard to find friends.	darum fällt mir Freunde finden schwer.
152	p_laughed_at	I'm afraid I will just get laughed at?	was, wenn ich deswegen ausgelacht werde?
153	c_confusion	I am just too many things at once,	Ich bin zu vieles gleichzeitig,
154	p_inner_conflict	it is just so overwhealming for me.	das ist einfach überfordernd für mich.
155	p_outer_conflict	this is just too much for others.	das ist einfach überfordernd für andere.
156	Oh, my old mask. I have so many good memories about theatre club.	Oh, my old mask. I have so many good memories about theatre club.	Nahw, meine gute alte Maske. Ich habe so schöne Erinnerungen an die Theater-AG.
157	I would stand on my bed for entire afternoons, weeks on end, practicing my lines. Pretending to be on the big stage ...	I would stand on my bed for entire afternoons, weeks on end, practicing my lines. Pretending to be on the big stage …	Ich hab den ganzen Nachmittag geübt, wochenlang. Mein Bett eine große Bühne …
158	my mom would get mad at me, when she had to call me three or four times for dinner.	The way my mom would call me down over and over for dinner was just -	Es gab so oft Zoff, weil mich meine Mutter immer wieder zum Essen rufen musste.
159	I just … didn't like the interruptions. We both were often mad at each other.	I did not like the interruptions. We would get so mad at each other.	Ich konnte die Unterbrechungen einfach nicht ab. Wir haben uns so oft deswegen gestritten.
160	Dinner was difficult.	Dinner was difficult.	Abendbrot war die Hölle.
161	I just couldn't bring myself to eat, because I couldn't deal with the bread and my mom.	I just couldn't bring myself to eat, because I couldn't deal with the bread and my mom.	Ich weiß nicht, was mich mehr gestört hat: das Brot oder Mom.
162	She was always so worried.	She was always so worried:	Sie war immer besorgt.
163	‘Lisa, you forgot your homework, Lisa why won't you play with the other girls,"	‘Lisa, you forgot your homework! Lisa why won't you play with the other girls?	“Lisa, deine Hausaufgaben! Lisa, warum warst du heute nicht bei den Mädels draußen?
164	"Lisa why didn't Steffi invite you to her birthday, Lisa this, Lisa that.’	Lisa why didn't Steffi invite you to her birthday? Lisa this.Lisa that.’	Lisa, warum hat dich Steffi nicht eingeladen? Lisa dies. Lisa das.”
165	But I was fine! She just wouldn't listen.	But I was fine! She just wouldn't listen.	Mir ging es gut, okay? Als ob sie das je interessiert hätte.
166	Yes, I didn't do homework, but my teachers didn't mind it as much with me	Yes, I didn't do homework, but my teachers didn't mind it as much with me,	Natürlich habe ich keine Hausaufgaben gemacht, aber das hat in der Schule bei mir auch niemand' interessiert,
167	- which the other kids wouldn't shut up about. But like …	which the other kids wouldn't shut up about. But like…	außer meine Klasse vielleicht, aber wer interessiert sich schon für die?
168	they also made fun of me reading school books and talking to my teachers during breaks.	they also made fun of me reading school books and talking to my teachers during breaks.	Vielleicht hätten die auch mal ein Buch in die Hand nehmen sollen, statt sich darüber zu zerreißen, dass ich in der Pause lieber mit den Erwachsenen geredet habe.
169	But at least I could fucking talk to teachers and they had stuff to say.	But at least I could fucking talk to teachers and they had stuff to say.	Immerhin konnte man mit denen reden und die haben auch was erzählt.
170	Mr Thomas probably even understood me better than my own mom.	Mr. Thomas probably even understood me better than my own mom.	Herr Thomas hat mich vermutlich besser verstanden als meine eigene Mutter.
171	He said I was gifted. He said I just didn't need homework for good grades.	He said I was gifted. He said I just didn't need homework for good grades.	Er hat immer gesagt, ich bin begabt, weil ich gute Noten auch ohne Hausaufgaben geschafft habe.
172	And he also made sure to always include extra credits. So my silly slip-ups wouldn't get me a B.	And he also always made sure to include extra credits. So my silly slip-ups wouldn't get me a B.	Und er hat immer Fleißaufgaben gehabt, damit ich auch mit Schusselfehlern eine Eins bekomme.
173	Moonlight trickled down through clouds and twigs as Dräven tapped through the night.	Moonlight trickled down through clouds and twigs as Dräven tapped through the night.	Mondlicht spielte mit Wolken und Geäst, da lief Dräven durch die Nacht.
174	He had been searching for a while and he knew a special someone must be hiding in the thicket.	He had been searching for a while, and he knew a special someone must be hiding in the thicket.	Lange schon suchte er vergeblich, doch heute war er sich gewiss: jemand ganz besonderes ist zwischen Farnen und Gestrüpp versteckt.
175	When a familiar smell first led him to a few bronce hairs as fluffy as his tail, he didn't think much of it.	When a familiar smell first led him to a few bronze hairs as fluffy as his tail, he didn't think much of it.	Er dachte sich nichts dabei, als ihn neulich ein vertrauter Geruch zu einem Büschel Haare führte: Bronzen und so weich wie sein eigener Schweif.
176	But then he saw paw-prints, that matched his own where he had not been. Would he finally find someone of his kind?	But then he saw paw prints, that matched his own where he had not been. Would he finally find someone of his kind?	Doch dann Spuren, die den seinen glichen, wo er nicht gewesen war. Würde er endlich seinesgleichen finden?
177	He was sure of it, as the familiar scent has never been stronger than tonight.	He was sure of it, as the familiar scent has never been stronger than tonight.	Gewiss, denn der vertraute Duft war heute Nacht so stark wie nie.
178	When suddenly: Was that chatter?	When suddenly: Was that chatter?	Plötzlich: War das Keckern?
179	His wings rustled with joy over the familiar voice and Dräven decided to get a better look.	His wings rustled with joy over the familiar voice and Dräven decided to get a better look.	Seine Flügel raschelten vor Freude über die vertraute Stimme und Drävens Neugier war geweckt.
180	A few flaps and leaps brought him up a tree, to get a glimpse of his soon to be friend.	A few flaps and leaps brought him up a tree, to get a glimpse of his soon to be friend.	Flatternd sprang er in die Wipfel, um einen Blick auf seinen baldigen Freund zu erhaschen.
181	But all he saw was a fox.	But all he saw was a fox.	Doch er sah nichts als einen Fuchs.
182	He didn't even want to bother it anymore.	He didn't even want to bother it anymore.	Er wollte sich dem Tier nicht einmal mehr nähern.
183	It would just scream and laugh at his wings of leafs, just like the trees crackled at his paws, that were no roots.	It would just scream and laugh at his wings of leaves, just like the trees crackled at his paws, that were no roots.	Es würde eh nur Kreischen vor Lachen über seine Flügel aus Blättern. Genau wie die Wolken sich geschüttelt haben über seine Pfoten, die keine Wurzeln sind.
184	With a small whimper, Dräven spread his wings, and slid away to at least find comfort by seeing his reflection in the nearby lake.	With a small whimper, Dräven spread his wings, and slid away to at least find comfort by seeing his reflection in the nearby lake.	Wimmernd schlug Dräven seine Flügel auf und glitt zu seinem Lieblingsplatz am See. Vielleicht vermochte ihn sein Spiegelbild zu trösten.
185	It took him a while to notice, how there was a sudden silence when the clouds broke:	It took him a while to notice, how there was a sudden silence when the clouds broke:	Dräven hätte fast nicht gemerkt, wie der Wald den Atem anhielt, als sich die Wolken teilten.
186	Northern lights danced through the sky to form wings, that met at a sleek body made of stars and clouds.	Northern lights danced through the sky to form wings that met at a sleek body made of stars and clouds.	Nordlicht tanzte durch den Himmel und wurde zu Flügeln an einem schlanken Körper aus Sternenlicht und Wolken.
187	The whole forest held its breath as it stared into eyes of moonlight gazing down.	The whole forest held its breath as it stared into eyes of moonlight gazing down.	Der ganze Wald sah ehrfürchtig zu Augen aus Mondlicht hinauf, die verträumt den Blick erwiderten.
188	Dräven was moved to tears when he gazed back at it. He was sad for the dragon that was of the moon and the stars and the skies.	Dräven was moved to tears when he gazed back at it. He was sad for the dragon that was of the moon and the stars and the skies.	Dräven war zu Tränen gerührt, als er in den Himmel sah. Voller Trauer um den Drachen, der von Wolken, Sternen und Mondlicht war.
189	It must feel so lost in the universe.	It must feel so lost in the universe.	Er muss sich so verloren fühlen am Himmel.
190	But his tears were of joy: It was the first time Dräven saw another creature of many kinds.	But his tears were of joy: It was the first time Dräven saw another creature of many kinds.	Doch es waren Tränen der Freude. Denn es war das erste Mal, dass Dräven ein anderes Viel-Wesen sah.
191	Why do i still have this junk lying around? its not like I want to do ju jutsu ever again. I just fucked it.	Why do I still have this junk lying around? It's not like I want to do jiu-jitsu ever again. I just fucked it.	Boah, warum hängt hier noch dieser Müll? Ich hab Jiu Jitsu einfach verkackt.
192	I mean I did enjoy it while it lasted. Being able to properly hit people was great.	I mean I did enjoy it while it lasted. Being able to properly hit people was great.	Ich meine… Ich hatte Spaß damals. Leute gut schlagen können ist großartig.
193	It gave me the confidence to intimidate students, that were begging to get folded and - as I only once actually got to do that - it also was a great vent for anger.	It gave me the confidence to intimidate students that were begging to get folded and - as I only once actually got to do that - it also was a great vent for anger.	Es gab mir Selbstvertrauen. Ich konnte Leute einschüchtern, wenn sie darum gebettelt haben aufs Maul zu bekommen und weil ich das nur einmal tatsächlich getan habe, war es auch ein super Ventil.
194	I mean my tits just about killed me during warmup and the changing room really didn't need mirrors - thank you I know my hips are fat and disgusting - but at least there was Lukas.	I mean my tits just about killed me during warmup and the changing room really didn't need mirrors - thank you I know my hips are fat and disgusting - but at least there was Lukas.	Ich meine… Meine Titten waren die Hölle beim Aufwärmen und die Umkleide hat wirklich keinen Spiegel gebraucht. Vielen Dank, ich brauche keine Erinnerung an meinen fetten Arsch. Aber wenigstens hatte ich Lukas.
195	He was such a huge nerd. He studied math in his third semester and could talk for hours about his passion.	He was such a huge nerd. He studied math in his third semester and could talk for hours about his passion.	Er war so ein Nerd. Er konnte so gut reden. Über Mathe. Er war in seinem dritten Semester und konnte stundenlang erzählen.
196	Also: my math grades pretty much leaped for my final year in high school thanks to him.	So my math grades pretty much leaped for my final year in high school thanks to him.	Und ich glaube mein Mathe-Abi war bestimmt drei Punkte besser durch ihn.
197	He also helped me so much with jiu jitsu, as he properly floored me when I slipped up.	And he helped me so much with jiu-jitsu.	Und ach, bei Jiu Jitsu… Es hat mir so sehr geholfen, dass er mich einfach anständig hingelegt hat, wenn ich gefailed habe.
198	Also - unlike everyone else - he understood that I didn't want people to mind my chest.	Unlike everyone else - he understood that I didn't want people to mind my chest, and he probably made me hit the floor whenever I made a mistake.	Und er war der einzige, der wirklich verstanden hat, dass mir egal war, ob Leute mir an die Brüste kommen.
199	So Fighting for wins with him was actually rewarding even tho more often than not I ended up having to tap out.	So fighting for wins was actually rewarding even though more often than not I ended up having to tap out.	Mit ihm war Kämpfen so gut – auch wenn ich üblicherweise diejenige war, die abschlagen musste und nicht er.
200	We also had my first proper kiss. I thought I loved him. But now?	We also had my first proper kiss. I thought I loved him. But now?	Wir hatten auch meinen ersten richtigen Kuss. Ich war so verliebt, und jetzt?
201	He was weird that evening. Even more huggy and hyperactive than usual.	Uhm... he was weird that evening. Even more huggy and hyperactive than usual.	Es war so ungewöhnlich. Irgendwie noch hibbeliger und näher als so schon.
202	We were under my bed, reading my secret comic stash when I got tired of the floor and told him we should go upstairs.	We were under my bed, reading my secret comic stash when I got tired of the floor and told him we should go upstairs.	Wir saßen unterm Bett bei meiner geheimen Comic-Kiste, als ich irgendwann keine Lust mehr auf Boden hatte und sagte: "Lass hoch gehen."
203	We had a play fight on my mattress. I've never seen him fight like this.	We had a play fight on my mattress. I've never seen him fight like this.	Wir haben auf meiner Matratze gekabbelt. Es war so… anders.
204	His fingers Curled across my Skin without grabbing me, like he would normally do. And he let me win	His fingers curled across my skin without grabbing me, like he would normally do. And he let me win…	Seine Finger sind über meinen Körper geglitten, ohne mich zu greifen - und er hat mich gewinnen lassen,
205	… with this smirk on his face.	with this smirk on his face.	mit diesem Grinsen.
206	I rolled over exhausted when suddenly he sat on top of me, a pearl of sweat dropped from his nose on my throat.	I rolled over exhausted when suddenly he sat on top of me, a pearl of sweat dropped from his nose on to my throat.	Ich habe mich erschöpft zur Seite gerollt, als er plötzlich auf mir saß. Eine Perle Schweiß fiel von seiner Nase auf meinen Hals.
207	He started undoing his shirt.	He started undoing his shirt.	Er hat sein Hemd aufgemacht.
208	Do you have condoms?	”Do you have condoms?”	"Hast du Kondome?"
209	Yes, of course everybody has Why did he ask that?	”Yes, of course everybody has." Why did he ask that?	"Natürlich, jeder hat Kondome." Warum hat er das gefragt?
210	I saw my body lying on the bed, getting undressed. I was drifting away, towards the stars.	I saw my body lying on the bed, getting undressed. I was drifting away, towards the stars.	Ich habe gesehen, wie mein Körper entkleidet wurde. Ich war schwerelos zwischen den Sternen.
211	My body didn't move. It didn't say a word when the butterflies tried to escape from its stomach as he kissed it.	My body didn't move. It didn't say a word when the butterflies tried to escape from my stomach as he kissed it.	Mein Körper hat sich nicht bewegt. Mein Mund hat nichts gesagt, als die Schmetterlinge aus meinem Bauch ausbrechen wollten, weil der geküsst wurde.
212	I … observed him from afar. He … didn't seem to notice, that I had left.	I… observed him from afar. He… didn't seem to notice that I had left.	Ich habe Lukas von Weitem beobachtet. Ihm ist nicht aufgefallen, dass ich nicht mehr da war.
213	That I didn't return to kiss him goodbye. That I didn't hug him when he went home.	That I didn't return to kiss him goodbye. That I didn't hug him when he went home.	Dass ich ihm keinen Abschiedskuss gegeben habe. Dass ich ihn an der Tür nicht umarmt habe.
214	My hands knocked on my brother’s door. He let me lie on his carpet.	My hands knocked on my brother’s door. He let me lie on his carpet.	Meine Hände klopften an Fabis Tür. Ich durfte auf seinem Teppich liegen.
215	I saw my body lying on the bed, getting undressed. I was drifting away, towards the stars.	I saw my body lying on the bed, getting undressed. I was drifting away, towards the stars.	Ich habe gesehen, wie mein Körper entkleidet wurde. Ich war schwerelos zwischen den Sternen.
216	My body didn’t move. It didn’t say a word when the butterflies tried to escape from it’s stomach as he kissed it.	My body didn’t move. It didn’t say a word when the butterflies tried to escape from my stomach as he kissed it.	Mein Körper hat sich nicht bewegt. Mein Mund hat nichts gesagt, als die Schmetterlinge aus meinem Bauch ausbrechen wollten, weil der geküsst wurde.
217	I … observed him from afar. He … didn't seem to notice, that I had left.	I… observed him from afar. He… didn’t seem to notice that I had left.	Ich habe Lukas von Weitem beobachtet. Ihm ist nicht aufgefallen, dass ich nicht mehr da war.
218	That I didn’t return to kiss him good bye. That I didn’t hug him when he went home.	That I didn’t return to kiss him goodbye. That I didn’t hug him when he went home.	Dass ich ihm keinen Abschiedskuss gegeben habe. Dass ich ihn an der Tür nicht umarmt habe.
219	My hands knocked on my brother’s door. He let me lie on his carpet.	My hands knocked on my brother’s door. He let me lie on his carpet.	Meine Hände Klopften an Fabis tür. Ich durfte auf seinem Teppich liegen.
220	I slowly returned.	I slowly returned.	Langsam bin ich zurückgekehrt.
221	"How did it go?, Fabian asked.	"How did it go?, Fabian asked.	“Wie wars?”, fragte mein Bruder.
222	"It was moist”, I said.	"It was... moist”, I said.	“Feucht?”, sagte ich.
223	“That usually helps.”	“That usually helps.”	“Das hilft."
224	He laughed awkwardly. I just wanted to also laugh, but curled into a ball and cried.	He laughed awkwardly. I just wanted to also laugh, but... curled into a ball and cried.	Er lachte peinlich berührt. Ich wollte auch lachen, aber ich habe mich zusammen gerollt und geweint.
225	It took him a while to say something. “I … you … it's fine Lisa. I know it hurts the first time.”	It took him a while to say something. “I… you… it's fine Lisa. I know it hurts the first time.”	Er hat eine Weile gebraucht, um etwas zu sagen. “Ich… du… Lisa, alles wird gut. Ich weiß das erste Mal tut weh."
226	He gently stroked the back I was curling towards him.	He gently stroked the back I was curling towards him.	Ich hielt ihm den Rücken hin. Er streichelte mich sanft.
227	That was good. He was a sweet angel. Why must he be so bad at comforting?	That was good. He was a sweet angel. Why must he be so bad at comforting?	Das war gut. Fabi ist so gut zu mir. Warum muss er nur so scheiße im Trösten sein?
228	My secret comic stash. I remember playing Clue-Men with the boys.	My secret comic stash! I remember playing Clue-Men with the boys.	Meine geheime Comic-Kiste! Früher habe ich mit den Jungs so oft Clue-Men gespielt.
229	I had a voice for every character in that comic. But more often than not I played him: Agent Q.	I had a voice for every character in that comic. But more often than not I played him: Agent Q.	Ich hatte eine Stimme für jeden Charakter in diesem Comic. Am liebsten aber war ich er: Agent Q.
230	Going under the radar, putting in precise work to save the world.	Going under the radar, putting in precise work to save the world.	Mit chirurgischer Präzision im Verborgenen arbeiten, um die Welt zu retten.
231	Not having to deal with being a girl.	Not having to deal with being a girl.	Und er musste sich nie mit Mädchen abgeben.
232	Boys were so much easier. They like cars, bikes, guns and agents.	Boys were so much easier. They like cars, bikes, guns and agents.	Jungs sind so viel einfacher. Sie mögen Autos, Motorräder, Waffen und Agenten.
233	They don't talk behind your back. They don't think everything is about relationships.	They don't talk behind your back. They don't think everything is about relationships.	Jungs reden nicht hinter deinem Rücken. Jungs denken nicht alles dreht sich um Beziehungen.
234	Girls don't get that. I knew they talked behind my back about me only “pretending” to like boy stuff, so I’d get laid	Girls don't get that. I knew they talked behind my back about me only “pretending” to like boy stuff, so I’d get laid.	Mädchen verstehen das nicht. Ich weiß sie haben über mich gelästert. Dass ich Jungs Kram nur mögen würde, um jemanden ins Bett zu kriegen…
235	… I mean, maybe they were right?	I mean, maybe they were right?	Ich meine, vielleicht war was dran?
236	Like I won't deny I was probably the first girl in my class to see a dick.	Like I won't deny I was probably the first girl in my class to see a dick.	Ich hab vermutlich als erstes Mädchen meiner Stufe einen Schwanz gesehen.
237	But like - that’s what the boys do, right?	But like - that’s what the boys do, right?	Aber das machen Jungs halt so, oder?
238	At least it has gotten better after me and Jojo became friends.	At least it has gotten better after me and Jojo became friends.	Zumindest wurde es besser, nachdem Jojo und ich Freundinnen wurden.
239	I still remember how that happend. I did a voice acting workshop in art class.	I still remember how that happened. I did a voice acting workshop in art class.	Die Geschichte ist großartig. Ich durfte in Kunst einen Vortrag über Voice Acting halten.
240	Being allowed to share my technique in front of everyone was just :D	Being allowed to share my technique in front of everyone was just :D	Meine Technik mit allen teilen zu können war einfach nur :D
241	I mean next to nobody put in any effort. But Jojo did.	I mean next to nobody put in any effort in, but Jojo did.	Ich meine… Niemand hat sich wirklich angestrengt, außer Jojo halt.
242	When our Mr Funny then decided to ape her attempts instead of just minding his own, I pretty much exploded.	When our Mr. Funny then decided to ape her attempts instead of just minding his own, I pretty much exploded.	Als unser Klassenclown sie dann nachäffen musste, anstatt sich um seinen Scheiß zu kümmern, bin ich einfach explodiert.
243	After this, we suddenly were besties. And my class finally started to just leave me be.	After this, we suddenly were besties and my class finally started to just leave me be.	Danach hatte ich plötzlich eine beste Freundin und endlich meine Ruhe.
244	Maybe because I for once was friends with another girl. Maybe because I scared them. Maybe both.	Maybe because I for once was friends with another girl. Maybe because I scared them. Maybe both.	Vielleicht, weil ich nun auch mit einem Mädchen befreundet war. Vielleicht weil die Mobber plötzlich Angst vor mir hatten. Vermutlich beides.
245	skip reading (hold)	skip reading (hold)	zum Ende springen (gedrückt halten)
246
247	*USK-Kennzeichnung bezieht sich auf den Games for Family-Stand der Spielraum-Messe Dresden. Die Kennzeichnung trifft nicht zwangsläufig auf das finale Spiel zu.	*USK-rating is related to the Games for Family-booth at Spielraum-Messe Dresden. Rating does not transfer to the final game.	*USK-Kennzeichnung bezieht sich auf den Games for Family-Stand der Spielraum-Messe Dresden. Die Kennzeichnung überträgt sich nicht auf das finale Spiel.
248	Start the Demo!	Start the demo!	Starte die Demo!
249	Move trough the room	Move trough the room	Durch den Raum bewegen
250	show Content Notes	show Content Notes	Content Notes anzeigen
251	Written Text	Written Language	Geschriebener Text
252	Spoken Text	Spoken Language	Gesprochener Text
253	Childhood	Childhood	Kindheit
254	voice Training	Voice Training	Stimmtechnik
255	Collect Memento	Collect Memento	Erinnerung einsammeln
256	Mind Board	Mind Board	Korkwand
257	listen again	Listen Again	Erneut anhören
258	Why does that story mean so much to me?	Why does that story mean so much to me?	Warum bedeutet mir diese Geschichte so viel?
259	lang-disclaimer	"Frame of Mind" is as of now not yet fully localised for German.	"Frame of Mind" ist noch nicht voll ins Deutsche übersetzt.
260	Dräven	Dräven	Dräven
261	Jui Jutsu	Jiu-Jitsu	Jiu Jitsu
262	Sports Clothes	Sports Clothes	Sportklamotten
263	crafted Mask	Crafted Mask	Gebastelte Maske
264	secret Comic Stash	Secret Comic Stash	Comic Geheimversteck
265	find connections	Find Connections	Zusammenhänge finden
266	Find all three Momentos to collect all thoughts.	Find all three Momentos to gather all thoughts.	Finde die drei Erinnerungen um alle Gedanken zu sammeln.
267	Find two more Momentos to collect all cards.	Find two more Momentos to collect all cards.	Finde zwei weitere Erinnerungen um alle Karten zu sammeln.
268	Find the last remaining Momento.	Find the last remaining Momento.	Finde die letzte Erinnerung.
269	Attribution	Attribution	Mitwirkende und Danksagung
270	reveal full text (hold)	reveal full text (hold)	vollen Text anzeigen (halten)
271	skip scene	skip scene	Szene überspringen
272	continue	continue	Fotfahren
273	keep reading	keep reading	weiterhin lesen
274	quit	Quit	Beenden
275	Thanks for Playing the Demo!	Thanks for playing the demo!	Vielen Dank für’s Demo spielen!
276	We hope you are looking forward to finding a better frame of mind.	We hope you are looking forward to finding a better Frame of Mind.	Wir hoffen ihr freut euch darauf dieses Gedankenspiel weiter zu erkunden.
277	demo-credits	Frame of Mind is made by betalars. They were supported by: Adrian Schmid, April and somebody that I used to know – Programming Jas Arianna and Newt – Voice Acting STTLE – OST Dieu Linh Vu, Polynormal Games - Producing, Publishing and Marketing Frame of Mind was created in Godot 4. Special thanks to: nase, Jenny, nek0, map-c, Svenja, caesey, Milo, Francis, Christoph, the R42 Games Accellerator and to the contributers of blender, godot and inkscape. Frame of mind is would not have been possible without purple sloth games.	Frame of Mind ist made by betalars. Dey wurde unterstützt von: Adrian Schmid, April und einer Person, die ich mal kannte – Programmierung Jas Arianna and Newt – Voice Acting STTLE – OST Dieu Linh Vu, Polynormal Games - Producing, Publishing und Marketing Frame of Mind wurde mit Godot 4 entwickelt. Besonderen Dank an: nase, Jenny, nek0, map-c, Svenja, caesey, Milo, Francis, Christoph, den R42 Games Accellerator und an die Mitwirkenden von blender, godot und inkscape. Frame of mind wäre nicht möglich gewesen ohne Purple Sloth Studios.
278	Quit	Quit	Beenden
279	These Creative Commons pojects made frame of mind possible.	These Creative Commons pojects made Frame of Mind possible.	Diese Creative Commons Projekte haben Frame of Mind möglich gemacht.
280	Wishlist for a better frame of mind	Wishlist for a better frame of mind	Wishlisten für ein besseres Frame of Mind
281	You can move on, but you may not have understood Lisa.	You can move on, but may not have understood Lisa.	Du kannst weitermachen, aber hast vermutlich Lisa nicht ganz verstanden.
282	You may leave the room, but Lisa only agrees with %d of the %d connections.	You may leave the room, but Lisa only agrees with %d of the %d connections.	Du kannst das Zimmer verlassen, aber Lisa stimmt dir nur in %d von %d Verbindungen zu.
283	Lisa would like you to leave her room and move on.	Lisa would like you to leave her room and move on.	Lisa möchte, dass du ihr Jugendzimmer verlässt und weiter machst.
284	Move on	Move on	Weitermachen
285	Life gave you some thoughts you did not choose to keep. You may try to burn one.	Life gave you some thoughts you did not choose to keep. You may try to burn one.	Das Leben hat dir ein paar Gedanken mitgegeben die du nicht ausgesucht hast. Du darfst versuchen, einen zu verbrennen.
286	Keep all thoughts	Keep all Thoughts	Behalte alle Gedanken
287	Leave room	Leave room	Den Raum verlassen
288	Combine cards to order your thoughts.	Combine cards to order your thoughts.	Klebe Karten aufeinander, um die Gedanken zu sortieren.
289	There are three Mementos left to find.	Find all three Momentos to collect all thoughts.	Finde all drei Erinnerungen, um alle Gedanken zu sammeln.
290	You have collected half of the mementos.	Find two more Momentos to collect all cards.	Finde zwei weitere Erinnerungen, um alle Karten zu sammeln.
291	Find the last Memento to complete the Board.	Find the last remaining Momento.	Finde die letzte Erinnerung.
292	c_seen	I never felt seen, let alone understood	Ich habe mich nie gesehen gefühlt und erst recht nicht verstanden
293	p_understanding_self	no wonder I had also trouble understanding myself.	kein wunder, dass ich mich selbst nie gut verstanden habe.
294	p_starting_change	and I am glad this is starting to change.	und ich bin froh, dass sich das langsam bessert.
295	c_autistic	Many traits my autistic brother has I also see in me	Ich sehe viele Eigenarten meines autistischen Bruders auch bei mir
296	p_always_afraid	and I always was afraid of that.	ich habe mich deswegen immer komisch gefühlt.
297	p_in_hindsight	in hindsight this should have been a sign.	retrospektiv gesehen war das ein Zeichen.
298	c_support	My instinct is to try and support others	Ich rutsche immer in den Helfer-Modus
299	p_pride	I take pride in that even though it is exhausting.	ich bin stolz darauf, auch wenn es erschöpfend ist.
300	p_not_mutual	and far too often that is not mutual.	das beruht viel zu oft nicht auf Gegenseitigkeit.
301	c_being_girl	I never liked being a girl	Ich wollte nie ein Mädchen sein
302	p_other_way	and I guess I just didn't see another way.	ich habe nur irgendwie keine Alternative gesehen.
303	p_always_known	I've always known that, but I never really thought about it.	ich habe das immer schon gewusst, ich hab nur nie darüber nachgedacht.
304	c_not_girl	I don't have to be a girl	Ich muss kein Mädchen sein
305	p_xavier	that is why my name now is Xavier.	deswegen ist mein Name “Xavier”.
306	p_fuck_that	and fuck it! I can change that!	scheiß drauf, ich kann das ändern!
307	c_find_out	I sometimes like to fuck around and find out	Manchmal muss ich Grenzen austesten
308	p_rad	this is so rad.	das ist einfach based.
309	p_consequences	but I also have to accept the consequences then.	ich muss dann halt auch die Konsequenzen aushalten.
310	c_ran_away	I lashed out and then ran away when my Deanah tried to help me	Ich wurde richtig aggro und bin dann weg gerannt, als Diana mir helfen wollte.
311	p_lovable	yet I am still lovable to them.	ich bin trotzdem liebenswürdig für sie.
312	p_my_trauma	that isn't me, but it is my trauma.	das war nicht ich, das war mein Trauma.
313	c_difficult_teachers	School is difficult for teachers too	Schule ist auch für Lehrkräfte fies
314	p_failing_forward	and there's value in failing forward.	es ist viel Wert, in der richtigen Richtung zu Scheitern.
315	p_nightmare_children	children can be nightmares at times.	Kinder können richtig grausam sein.
316	c_mom	Mom always took care of everything at home	Mom hat sich früher einfach um alles gekümmert
317	p_good_intensions	that was well intended, but has now become a burden.	ds war damals gut gemeint, ist aber heute richtig belastend.
318	p_helplessness	that was the perfect recipe for helplessness.	das ist das perfekte Rezept für erlernte Hilflosigkeit.
319	c_no_eating	I couldn't bring myself to eat	Ich konnte mich nicht zum Essen bringen
320	p_coping	and I don't know how people cope with that.	und ich weiß nicht, wie Leute damit klar kommen.
321	p_too_everythig	it's just too loud, too peoply, too ... everything.	… es ist zu laut, zu leutig, zu … alles!
322	c_adoption	When Jules saw my struggle, she kind of adopted me	Julses konnte irgendwann nicht mehr zusehen und hat mich mehr oder wneiger adoptiert
323	p_flawed_help	it was along the wrong lines, but helpful nontheless.	das ging etwas in die falsche Richtung, war aber trotzdem hilfreich.
324	p_bodily_needs	my body really needed that.	mein Körper hat das echt gebraucht!
325	c_mental_health	I wish teachers knew more about mental health	Es hätte so geholfen, wenn meine Lehrkräfte mehr von mentaler Gesundheit verstanden hätten
326	p_early_recognition	recognising such things early makes a huge difference.	so Sachen früh erkennen macht einen riesen Unterschied.
327	p_unhelpful_lectures	unfortunately the lectures I had really did not help me.	leider haben die Vorlesungen dazu mir gar nicht geholfen.
328	c_adhd_life	I couldn't tell apart my life experience and ADHD	Ich kann mein Leben und ADHS nicht ganz auseinander halten.
329	p_upset_thoughts	thinking of that makes me so upset.	Ich werde wütend wenn ich nur darüber nachdenke.
330	p_me_weird	do others think I'm weird because of that?	halten mich andere deswegen für komisch?
331	c_auti_brother	My autistic brother is one of the most kind and caring people that I know	Mein autistischer Bruder ist einer der liebsten und fürsorglichsten Menschen, die ich kenne
332	p_cruel_kindness	it's cruel that the kindest people often hurt the most.	Warum erleben die liebsten Menschen immer auch den größten Scheiß?
333	p_time_and_faith	you just have to put in time and good faith to see it.	es braucht halt Zeit und Willen das zu sehen.
334	c_doing_right	I think I am doing the right thing	Ich glaube ich tue das Richtige
335	p_getting_right	so why can't I get it right like everybody else?	warum also krieg’ ich es nicht wie alle anderen auch gebacken?
336	p_self_lying	but I could be lying to myself with that.	vielleicht lüge ich mich damit auch selbst an.
337	c_work_piling	My work just keeps piling up	Meine Arbeit wird immer mehr und mehr
338	p_push_myself	I must push myself trough that and then it will be better.	ich muss mich einfach durchbeißen, dann wird das schon.
339	p_improve_myself	I can't change that, but I can improve myself.	daran kann ich ncihts ändern, aber ich kann besser werden.
340	c_best_version	I must become the best version of myself	Ich muss die beste Version von mir selbst werden
341	p_kids_deserve	the kids deserve seeing me be okay.	die Kids verdienen, dass es mir gut geht.
342	p_whoami	so why can't I be myself?	Warum ist es so unmöglich, einfach nur ich selbst zu sein?
343	c_right_choice	I don't know if uni was the right choice	Ich weiß nicht, ob studieren das Richtige für mich war
344	p_not_belonging	I don't think someone thought that I belonged there.	ich glaube viele haben gedacht, dass ich da nicht hin gehörte.
345	p_stubborn	I could not bring myself to do things that made no sense to me.	Ich kann keine Dinge tun, die ich unsinnig finde.
346	c_creating_support	I create the support for others that I would have needed myself	Ich habe für andere die Unterstützung organisiert, die ich selbst gebraucht hätte.
347	p_self_taught	this has thought me more than anything else had.	noch nie habe ich bei etwas so viel gelernt.
348	p_peer_review	that is what got me diagnosed by peer review.	das hat mir eine Diagnose per “Peer Review” eingebracht.
349	c_peer_therapy	My peers helped me more in understanding myself than my therapist	Ich habe in meiner Studi-Gruppe mehr verstanden über mich, als in meiner Therapie.
350	p_real_help	that still shouldn't be a substitute for professional help.	trotzdem ist das kein Ersatz für professionelle Hilfe.
351	p_great_therapy	and that helped me get the most out of my therapy.	dadurch habe ich mehr aus meiner Therapie raus holen können.
352	c_trauma_regrets	Sometimes I wish my trauma didn't happen to me	Manchmal will ich, dass mein Trauma nie passiert wäre
353	p_toxic_thoughts	and I now recognise that is a toxic thought.	Ich glaube das ist ein toxischer Gedanke.
354	p_diganose_benefits	at least I now have an ADHD Diagnosis.	zumindest habe ich inzwischen eine ADHS Diagnose.
355	c_cravings	I don't know what to do about my intimate cravings	Ich weiß nicht, was ich mit meinen intimen Bedürfnissen anfangen soll.
356	p_therapy_talk	If only I could talk to my therapist about that.	Wenn ich nur mit meinem Therapeuten darüber reden könne.
357	p_procastinate	but I can accept its there and figure it out later.	ich kann das jetzt akzeptieren und später klären.
358	c_ex_hurt	I sometimes want to make my Ex feel how much they hurt me	Manchmal will ich meinen Ex spüren lassen, wie sehr er mir weh getan hat.
359	p_lessons_learned	on a calm mind I just hope they learned their lesson.	eigentlich hoffe ich, dass der gleiche Fehler nicht nochmal passiert.
360	p_thought_spiral	whenever I focus on that, my thoughts spiral down.	darüber nachdenken bringt mich in ein schwarzes Loch.
361	I don't know if this was the best or the worst Christmas I remember.	I don't know if this was the best or the worst Christmas I remember.	Ich weiß nicht, ob es das beste oder schlimmste Weihnachten aller Zeiten war.
362	What I know is: I have never been so mad at my brother...	What I know is: I have never been so mad at my brother...	Ich weiß nur, dass ich noch nie so wütend auf meinen Bruder war.
363	it's not like I don't love him. It's not like I didn't like to care for him, when he came home with a meltdown.	it's not like I don't love him. It's not like I didn't like to care for him, when he came home with a meltdown.	Es ist ja nicht so, als ob ich ihn nicht liebe. Als ob ich mich nicht immer um ihn gekümmert hätte, als er mit einem Meltdown nach hause kam.
364	I cared a lot for him. My parents cared a lot for him, everybody cared a lot for him.	I cared a lot for him. My parents cared a lot for him, everybody cared a lot for him.	ch habe mich immer gekümmert. Meine Eltern haben sich immer gekümmert, alle haben sich immer gekümmert.
365	He always had it sooo difficult because of his autism. As if I wasn't bullied too.	He always had it sooo difficult because of his autism. As if I wasn't bullied too.	Er hat es ja so schwer gehabt mit seinem Autismus. Als ob ich nicht auch immer das Opfer war.
366	Anyway … I don’t know why he needed to tell me about his almost first time on christmas eve.	Anyway … I don’t know why he needed to tell me about his almost first time on christmas eve.	Jedensalls … ich weiß nicht, warum er mir unbedingt Heiligabend von seinem beinahe ersten Mal erzählen musste.
367	I was immedieately stressed because usually that means he needs comfort but in hindsight I think he meant to tell something holesome?	I was immedieately stressed because usually that means he needs comfort but in hindsight I think he meant to tell something holesome?	Ich war sofort gestresst, weil ich ihn normalerweise immer trösten muss und inzwischen glaube ich wollte er mir eigentlich was nettes erzählen.
368	Because he just pressured himself so much into wanting it to happen that he was increadibly releaved when his girlfriend just wanted to play videogames instead.	Because he just pressured himself so much into wanting it to happen that he was increadibly releaved when his girlfriend just wanted to play videogames instead.	Weil er hatte sich richtig viel Druck gemacht, dass es endlich passiert und war dann unendlich froh darüber, dass seine Freundin einfach “nein” gesagt hat und lieber was zocken wollte.
369	And it just hit me like a train.	And it just hit me like a train.	Und es hat mich einfach fertig gemacht.
370	I just unloaded everything on him:	I just unloaded everything on him:	Also habe ich einfach alles raus gelassen:
371	How I got treated, how he never gave me comfort, how much I had to care for him and how scared I was …	How I got treated, how he never gave me comfort, how much I had to care for him and how scared I was …	Wie ich behandelt wurde, wie er mich nie getröstet hat, wie ich mich immer kümmern musste und, wie viel Angst ich hatte …
372	every time I recognized myself trough him.	every time I recognized myself trough him.	immer, wenn ich mich in ihm gesehen habe.
373	He just sat there in disbelief until I lost my words.	He just sat there in disbelief until I lost my words.	Er hat einfach nur da gesessen und mich angestarrt, bis ich keine Worte mehr hatte.
374	I wanted to stare him into understanding, I wanted him to be mad, but he just sat there. He didn't look me in the eye - and then just took his phone, and wrote on it.	I wanted to stare him into understanding, I wanted him to be mad, but he just sat there. He didn't look me in the eye - and then just took his phone, and wrote on it.	Also habe ich versucht zurück zu starren, bis er mich versteht, aber er ist einfach nur da gesessen. Und ohne mir in die Augen zu sehen hat er sein Handy genommen.
375	"Sorry"	"Sorry"	“Sorry”
376	my phone rang "I never knew what to say. Can I write instead?"	my phone rang "I never knew what to say. Can I write instead?"	mein Handy klingelte “Ich wusste nie, was ich sagen sollte. Kann ich dir schreiben?”
377	That look on his face, I... I didn't want to be angry anymore. I needed to be sad.	That look on his face, I... I didn't want to be angry anymore. I needed to be sad.	Wie er mich ansah, ich … konnte einfach nicht mehr wütend - ich musste traurig sein,
378	So I curled next to him and wrote back.	So I curled next to him and wrote back.	also habe ich mich mit dem Rücken zu ihm zusammen gerollt und zurück geschrieben.
379	He'd never made me feel seen before. But with how much he wrote to me about ADHD and Autism that evening,	He'd never made me feel seen before. But with how much he wrote to me about ADHD and Autism that evening,	Ich hatte nie das Gefühl gehabt, dass er mich groß beachten würde. Aber vielleicht mit all dem, was er mir über Autismus und ADHS geschrieben hat,
380	it felt like he understood me better than I myself did.	it felt like he understood me better than I myself did.	verstand er mich doch besser, als ich mich selbst.
381	Colorful Dice	Colorful Dice	Colorful Dice
382	Ahw, shiny math rocks!	Ahw, shiny math rocks!	Aaah! Die heiligen Steine der Entropie!
383	It's funny how small moments can put your whole world upside down.	It's funny how small moments can put your whole world upside down.	Wie kleine Momente einem das Leben auf den Kopf stellen können.
384	It was the first time I ever made a DnD Character. I had no clue what I was doing.	It was the first time I ever made a DnD Character. I had no clue what I was doing.	Ich hatte wirklich null Plan, als ich meinen ersten DnD Charakter bauen wollte.
385	Good thing Markus has been DMing for longer than I live, so he helped me with all the rules and bits and bobs.	Good thing Markus has been DMing for longer than I live, so he helped me with all the rules and bits and bobs.	Aber zum Glück ist Markus einfach länger Spielleiter, as ich lebe. Bei all den Regeln und Entscheidungen war das ultra hilfreich.
386	He said I could be anything - as long as it was a tank. After seeing my Twokinds poster, he first suggested me making a druid, but he also mentioned the Barbarian ...	He said I could be anything - as long as it was a tank. After seeing my Twokinds poster, he first suggested me making a druid, but he also mentioned the Barbarian ...	Er sagte ich könnte alles sein! So lange es nicht umfällt, wenn man drauf haut. Wegen meinem Twokinds Poster hat er vorgeschlagen ich könnte doch Druide spielen, aber dann hat er auch den Barbaren erwähnt.
387	and approaching problems head-first and tearing everything apart while raging ... was just a mood I could get behind.	and approaching problems head-first and tearing everything apart while raging ... was just a mood I could get behind.	Und einfach mit dem Kopf durch die Wand Probleme in einem Rausch von Wut zerprügeln? Das fühl ich schon sehr.
388	But then came *that* question:	But then came *that* question:	Aber dann diese Frage:
389	"Do you want to be a Boy-barian or a Girl-barian?"	"Do you want to be a Boy-barian or a Girl-barian?"	“Möchtest du ein Barbarich oder eine Barbarine sein?”
390	And that inner turmoil about boys and girls and ... fuck! I can't deal with this so I just shrugged it off.	And that inner turmoil about boys and girls and ... fuck! I can't deal with this so I just shrugged it off.	und das innere Chaos um Jungen und Mädchen und ey, ich will nicht darüber nachdenken, also habe ich einfach mit den Schultern gezuckt.
391	"Okay, then roll for Gender!". He put a d20 in a cup and gave it to me. "Even for girl, odd for boy and floor is complicated.", he laughed.	"Okay, then roll for Gender!". He put a d20 in a cup and gave it to me. "Even for girl, odd for boy and floor is complicated.", he laughed.	“Dann fragen wir die Würfel!” Er nahm einen W20 und gab ihn mir mit Würfelbecher. “Gerade ist Mädchen, ungerade ist Junge, Boden ist kompliziert?”, er kicherte.
392	I didn't appreciate that: "It's in a cup, how is it supposed to hit the floor?"	I didn't appreciate that: "It's in a cup, how is it supposed to hit the floor?"	Ich schnaubte: “Wie soll es überhaupt auf dem Boden landen, wenn ich mit dem Becher würfle?”
393	His tone was still friendly, but suddenly more serious.	His tone was still friendly, but suddenly more serious.	Immer noch freundlich, aber viel ernster antwortete Markus:
394	"I was meaning to ask what result you'd be hoping for so you need to roll blind. But you may also just throw that die at your DM and see what happens."	"I was meaning to ask what result you'd be hoping for so you need to roll blind. But you may also just throw that die at your DM and see what happens."	“Nun gut. Ich wollte dich eigentlich fragen, auf was du hoffst und dafür darfst du das Ergebnis halt nicht sehen. Du kannst natürlich auch einfach einen Würfel auf deinen Spielleiter werfen und schauen, was passiert.”
395	I threw that die at my DM.	I threw that die at my DM.	Ich habe einfach einen Würfel auf meinen Spielleiter geworfen.
396	"So, floor it is?"	"So, floor it is?"	“Also doch Boden?”
397	I ... I couldn't be mad at that.	I ... I couldn't be mad at that.	Ja nun, das konnte ich so akzeptieren.
398	When he then asked me for my name, I just spat out "Xavier".	When he then asked me for my name, I just spat out "Xavier".	Als er mich dann nach meinem Namen fragte, habe ich Xavier ausgespuckt.
399	"Okay, Xavier. And how do we want to name your Barbarian?" I ... also couldn't be mad at that.	"Okay, Xavier. And how do we want to name your Barbarian?" I ... also couldn't be mad at that.	“Okay, Xavier. Und wie nennen wir deinen Barbarix?” Ja nun, auch das konnte ich offenbar so akzeptieren.
400	Eventually, we settled on Ruby:	Eventually, we settled on Ruby:	Wir haben uns irgendwann auf Ruby geeignet.
401	a bearded dwarven women with a strong attitude that - unlike most other dwarves - for some reason really doesn't mind being mistaken for a man.	a bearded dwarven women with a strong attitude that - unlike most other dwarves - for some reason really doesn't mind being mistaken for a man.	Eine sehr reizbare bärtige Zwergin, die - anders als unter Zwerginnen üblich - sich komischerweise gar nicht daran gestört hat, wenn sie für einen Mann gehalten wurde.
402	And weirdly ... that was the first "female" character I enjoyed playing.	And weirdly ... that was the first "female" character I enjoyed playing.	Und irgenfwie war es der erste “Frauen”-Charakter, den ich gern gespielt habe.
403	Even tho I really didn't want that die to land on girl.	Even tho I really didn't want that die to land on girl.	Und das, obwohl ich wirklich darauf gehofft hätte, dass der Würfel nicht auf Mädchen landet.
404	Dirty Dishes	Dirty Dishes	dreckiges Geschirr
405	God I am so "happy" mom took care of everything at home. The dishes, the laundry, the trash, the groceries, the food.	God I am so "happy" mom took care of everything at home. The dishes, the laundry, the trash, the groceries, the food.	Wie “dankbar” ich bin, dass Mom sich früher um alles gekümmert hat. Spülen, wäsche waschen, Müll rausbringen, Einkaufen, Essen kochen.
406	But guess what: when you are at university, they don't provide a mom with your dorm.	But guess what: when you are at university, they don't provide a mom with your dorm.	Blöd nur, dass ein Uni-Wohnheim keine Einbau-Muddi hat.
407	And suddenly, you don't just need to study for your first semester, you need to learn to survive on your own. Good luck building good habits with that.	And suddenly, you don't just need to study for your first semester, you need to learn to survive on your own. Good luck building good habits with that.	Und dann musst du nicht nur für dein erstes Semester lernen, sondern auch für alleine überleben. Wie soll man da gute Gewohnheiten lernen?
408	I got really thin.	I got really thin.	Ich wurde irgendwann richtig dünn.
409	I didn't really manage to eat at home, I didn't have the money to eat takeout all the time and oh my god:	I didn't really manage to eat at home, I didn't have the money to eat takeout all the time and oh my god:	Ich habs nicht geschafft mir für zuhause Essen zu besorgen, ich hatte nicht genug Geld für dauernd Döner und ich versteh wirklich nicht,
410	how do students manage to survive in a cafeteria?	how do students manage to survive in a cafeteria?	wie Studis die Mensa überleben.
411	I mean: How do they manage to socialise, attend all the lectures, find relationships and even look passable with all that going on?	I mean: How do they manage to socialise, attend all the lectures, find relationships and even look passable with all that going on?	Oder, wie sie dann auch noch Sozialleben, Vorlesungen, Beziehungen und alles hinbekommen, ohne dabei wie Zombies auszusehen.
412	Is it just me? I don't know.	Is it just me? I don't know.	Oder bin einfach nur ich das Problem? 'weiß nicht.
413	Who I am glad about tho is Jules. She has an eating order history and someday had enough of seeing my body crumble and decieded to basically adopt me.	Who I am glad about tho is Jules. She has an eating order history and someday had enough of seeing my body crumble and decieded to basically adopt me.	Ich bin zumindest echt froh über Jules. Sie konnte irgendwann nicht mehr mit ansehen, wie mein Körper zerfällt und hat mich mehr oder weniger adoptiert.
414	I could never really relate with her former eating discorder thoughts she was probably trying to get out of my head.	I could never really relate with her former eating discorder thoughts she was probably trying to get out of my head.	Sie hatte große Sorgen, dass ich wie sie eine Essstörung hatte und ehrlich?: So richtig konnte ich ihre ehemaligen Gedanken, die sie mir ausreden wollte, nicht ganz nachfühlen.
415	But I can't argue against her coping strategies helping my body get the food it needed.	But I can't argue against her coping strategies helping my body get the food it needed.	Und trotzdem haben ihre Alltags-Hacks echt dabei geholfen, dass mein Körper genug Essen bekommt.
416	Pile of Paperwork	Pile of Paperwork	Stapel an Papierkram
417	I don't recognize myself anymore.	I don't recognize myself anymore.	Wer bin ich überhaupt noch?
418	I've gotten through Uni in time. And working as a teacher brings me so much joy.	I've gotten through Uni in time. And working as a teacher brings me so much joy.	Ich bin doch in Regelzeit durch die Uni gekommen. Und ich habe doch meinen Traumberuf!
419	The kids love me. My colleagues admire me.	The kids love me. My colleagues admire me.	Die Kinder lieben mich, das Kollegium bewundert mich!
420	spending nights and weekends to prepare for my lessons so the quick witted kids are challenged and the other kids don't feel left behind.	spending nights and weekends to prepare for my lessons so the quick witted kids are challenged and the other kids don't feel left behind.	Und ich kann Nächte und Wochenenden damit verbringen meine Stunden vorzubereiten, damit die schnellen Kids sich nicht langweilen und auch niemand abgehängt wird.
421	I know the good I do for them.	I know the good I do for them.	Ich weiß, wie gut ich ihnen tue.
422	But I just keep falling behind.	But I just keep falling behind.	Aber ich schaff das nicht mehr.
423	It's bad enough to try to reach parents that just won't show interest in their wonderful kids. But at least I can do the right thing for these kids.	It's bad enough to try to reach parents that just won't show interest in their wonderful kids. But at least I can do the right thing for these kids.	Ich meine es ist schlimm genug sich mit Eltern zu ärgern, die sich null für ihre wundervollen Kinder interessieren. Aber zumindest kann ich da irgendwie den Kindern helfen.
424	But dealing with parents that insist every flaw their child has is my mistake? I just can't!	But dealing with parents that insist every flaw their child has is my mistake? I just can't!	Aber Eltern, die jeden scheiß Fehler von ihrem Kind bei mir suchen? Das geht nicht!
425	And I am more and more afraid of making mistakes.	And I am more and more afraid of making mistakes.	Und ich habe immer mehr Angst vor Fehlern.
426	I mean if all the usually good kids have worse grades in my class am I actually doing something wrong with how I teach?	I mean if all the usually good kids have worse grades in my class am I actually doing something wrong with how I teach?	Ich meine wenn die sonst besten Kinder bei mir immer schlechtere Noten haben, liegt es vielleicht doch an meiner Lehre?
427	Maybe I shouldn't have them do so many projects and do more tests like everybody else.	Maybe I shouldn't have them do so many projects and do more tests like everybody else.	Vielleicht sind die ganzen Projekte ja doch keine gute Idee und ich sollte einfach wie alle anderen auch mehr Tests schreiben.
428	If only I could bring myself to start grading...	If only I could bring myself to start grading...	Wenn ich den Scheiß nur korrigeren würde.
429	I get more and more irritated. And the classroom noise that once brought joy is starting to give me anxiety.	I get more and more irritated. And the classroom noise that once brought joy is starting to give me anxiety.	Aber ich werde einfach nur immer reizbarer. Ich bekomme Panik von dem Toben und Lachen der Kinder obwohl ich doch genau das lieben möchte.
430	I can't even bring myself to reply to Jules anymore because I know I'm losing weight again and I can't have her be worried about me.	I can't even bring myself to reply to Jules anymore because I know I'm losing weight again and I can't have her be worried about me.	Und ich schaffe es nicht einmal mehr auf Jules zu antworten, weil ich weiß ich habe wieder abgenommen und sie kann sich doch nicht schon wieder Sorgen um mich machen.
431	She deserves to see the best version of myself. So do the kids.	She deserves to see the best version of myself. So do the kids.	Sie verdient es mich in voller Blüte zu sehen	meine Klasse auch!
432	And I know all of this will get better if I just pull myself together.	And I know all of this will get better if I just pull myself together.	Und ich weiß das wird besser, wenn ich mich zusammen reiße.
433	Just breathe and work. I have chosen the right path through life.	Just breathe and work. I have chosen the right path through life.	Atmen und arbeiten. Ich habe die richtigen Entscheidungen getroffen.
434	I must be okay.	I must be okay.	Mir muss es gut gehen.
435	Doctors Note	Doctors Note	Arztbrief
436	In hindsight I don't know if going to uni was the right decision.	In hindsight I don't know if going to uni was the right decision.	Inzwischen bin ich mir nicht sicher, ob Uni wirklich die richtige Entscheidung war.
437	I doubt many professors would recommend me to come again.	I doubt many professors would recommend me to come again.	Ich weiß meine Profs würden es mir nicht nochmal empfehlen.
438	Me, the lazy student that just lacks the discipline to come to their lectures and do their assignments and learn for their exams.	Me, the lazy student that just lacks the discipline to come to their lectures and do their assignments and learn for their exams.	Wer will schon so ein faules Studi haben, dem die Disziplin für Vorlesungen besuchen, Hausaufgaben erledigen und für Prüfungen lernen gänzlich fehlt.
439	Sorry prof, I wanted to come but there was no class for me.	Sorry prof, I wanted to come but there was no class for me.	Herr von und zu Prof, ich wäre ja gern gekommen, aber es gab keine Veranstaltungen für mich.
440	I didn't sign up to study math, biology and art history. I came here to study education.	I didn't sign up to study math, biology and art history. I came here to study education.	Weil ich habe mich nicht für Mathe, Biologie und Kunstgeschichte eingeschrieben, sondern für Lehramt.
441	And my dear Mr. Professor:	And my dear Mr. Professor:	Und mein lieber Prof:
442	seeing your lacklustre lectures, I don't think there's much I can learn from you.	seeing your lacklustre lectures, I don't think there's much I can learn from you.	wenn ich mir ihre Foliensätze so ansehe, glaube ich nichti Sie können oder wollen mir viel von Didaktik erzählen.
443	So, rather than wasting my time on advanced algebra, I spend it on the student council to organize support I would have needed but didn't get.	So, rather than wasting my time on advanced algebra, I spend it on the student council to organize support I would have needed but didn't get.	Also statt meine Zeit mit Algebra zu verschwenden, habe ich im Fachschaftsrat die Unterstützung für Andere organisiert, die mir selbst immer gefehlt hatte.
444	I have never worked or learned so much in my entire life.	I have never worked or learned so much in my entire life.	Und ich hab noch nie in meinem Leben so viel geschafft oder gelernt.
445	This is also where I got diagnosed by peer review.	This is also where I got diagnosed by peer review.	Da habe ich auch meine Diagnose per Peer-Review erhalten.
446	Who would have guessed that creating a social activity without alcohol or noise would attract all the neurodivergent students.	Who would have guessed that creating a social activity without alcohol or noise would attract all the neurodivergent students?	Wer hätte gedacht, dass ich mit der Orga einer sozialen Aktivität ohne Alkohol und Lärm so viele neurodivergente Studis kennen lernen würde?
447	This is also why I would maybe still do it all over again:	This is also why I would maybe still do it all over again:	Und dafür würde ich es alles auch nochmal machen.
448	Because these beautiful people very probably saved my life by not giving up on me and helping me get professional help.	Because these beautiful people very probably saved my life by not giving up on me and helping me get professional help.	Zumal mir diese wundervollen Menschlis auch vermutlich das Leben gerettt haben, weil sie mir geholfen haben, professionelle Hilfe zu bekommen.
449	My therapist was somewhat old-fashioned and I got to learn from experience why deep psychology isn't recommended for autism or ADHD,	My therapist was somewhat old-fashioned and I got to learn from experience why deep psychology isn't recommended for autism or ADHD,	Gut, meine Therapeuthin war etwas altmodisch und hat ganz gut demonstriert, warum Tiefenpsychologie bei ADHS und Auti nicht im Leitfaden steht.
450	but she didn't think I had that anyway.	but she didn't think I had that anyway.	Aber naja, sie meinte ich hätte das ja eh nicht.
451	So we talked a lot about my depression, my sense of self and how it evolved from my past.	So we talked a lot about my depression, my sense of self and how it evolved from my past.	Also haben wir über meine Depression geredet, über mein Selbstbild und, wie das aus meiner Vergangenheit entstanden ist.
452	She was a very good listener and had a gift for putting her finger on hurtful thoughts.	She was a very good listener and had a gift for putting her finger on hurtful thoughts.	Sie konnte auch sehr gut zuhöhren und hatte ein großartiges Talent dafür den Finger immer genau in die Wunde zu legen.
453	She was never gentle in doing that, but she was right about one thing:	She was never gentle in doing that, but she was right about one thing:	Sie war nie besonders sanft dabei, aber in einer Sache hatte sie wirklich Recht:
454	Old thoughts are here to stay, but they can be rearranged.	Old thoughts are here to stay, but they can be rearranged.	Alte Gedanken gehen nicht einfach weg, aber man kann sie neu sortieren.
455	I sometimes wish I could go back in time to save myself from Lukas.	I sometimes wish I could go back in time to save myself from Lukas.	Manchmal würde ich gern in der Zeit zurückreisen, um mich vor Lukas zu retten.
456	Sometimes I even want to fight him one last time to make him feel how much he hurt me.	Sometimes I even want to fight him one last time to make him feel how much he hurt me.	Manchmal will ich auch einfach noch einmal mit ihm kämpfen, damit er fühlen muss, wie sehr er mir weh getan hat.
457	I don't like these thoughts, because all they do is make my head spiral into an endless void of anger and doubt.	I don't like these thoughts, because all they do is make my head spiral into an endless void of anger and doubt.	Ich mag diese Gedanken nicht, weil sie nichts als Spiralen voller Wut und Selbstzweifel schaffen.
458	So on a calm mind, I just hope he learned his lesson so his next love doesn't need to become a survivor.	So on a calm mind, I just hope he learned his lesson so his next love doesn't need to become a survivor.	Mit einem klaren Kopf also wünsche ich mir vor allem, dass er daraus gelernt hat, damit seine nächste Liebe nicht den gleichen Scheiß überleben muss.
459	But do I regret being one?	But do I regret being one?	Aber bereue ich meinen Scheiß?
460	I mean it has made me go to therapy and that was a good thing.	I mean it has made me go to therapy and that was a good thing.	Ich meine ich hab deswegen Therapie genommen und das war gut.
461	My therapist was pretty young and still in training.	My therapist was pretty young and still in training.	Mein Therapeut war zwar sehr jung und noch in der Ausbildung,
462	Talking to *him* about sex never really worked for me.	Talking to *him* about sex never really worked for me.	also habe ich mit *ihm* nie wirklich über Sex reden können.
463	So I still don't know what to do about my cravings. I'd rather not have them but I can't deny they exist.	So I still don't know what to do about my cravings. I'd rather not have them but I can't deny they exist.	Was ich also mit meinen Bedürfnissen anfangen soll? Sie sind halt da und ich will sie nicht wirklich haben.
464	At least he gave me the tools to figure it out on my own.	At least he gave me the tools to figure it out on my own.	Zumindest hat er mir gezeigt, wie ich das später selbst klären kann.
465	Old thoughts are here to stay, he always said. But you can choose how to react.	Old thoughts are here to stay, he always said. But you can choose how to react.	Alte Gedanken gehen nicht weg davon, dass man sie ignoriert, sagt er gern. Aber man kann sich entscheiden, wie man auf sie reagiert.
466	And while I choose to not react to my cravings for now, I can choose something different in the future.	And while I choose to not react to my cravings for now, I can choose something different in the future.	Also entscheide ich mich, dass ich erstmal nicht auf diese Bedürfnisse reagiere und weiß ich kann mich später umentscheiden.
467	He also helped me manage the gauntlet that is an ADHD diagnosis. I suspect I wouldn't have the executive skills to get that on my own.	He also helped me manage the gauntlet that is an ADHD diagnosis. I suspect I wouldn't have the executive skills to get that on my own.	Und er hat mir auf dem steinigen Weg zu einer ADHS-Diagnose geholfen. Ich glaube nicht ich hätte das alleine organisiert bekommen.
468	So I guess I got my medication thanks to Lukas?	So I guess I got my medication thanks to Lukas?	Also habe ich Lukas indierekt meine Medis zu verdanken?
469	And I can tell when to brace for my period because the weird urge to make my ex hit some very hard ground is quite specific.	And I can tell when to brace for my period because the weird urge to make my ex hit some very hard ground is quite specific.	Naja und ich weiß, wann ich mich auf meine Periode einstellen sollte: Denn dieses Bedürfnis, dass ich meinen Ex mit einem sehr hartem Boden bekannt machen möchte, ist praktischerweise sehr spezifisch für mein PMS.
470	Gemstone Art	Gemstone Art	Edelsteinmosaik
471	I learned a lot during my voluntary year.	I learned a lot during my voluntary year.	Ich habe so viel in meinem FSJ gelernt.
472	It taught me the value of failing and feedback. It taught me how difficult school was for teachers too.	It taught me the value of failing and feedback. It taught me how difficult school was for teachers too.	Ich habe gelernt, wie wertvoll Scheitern ist. Ich habe gelernt, wie schwer es auch Lehrkräfte an der Schule haben.
473	And it taught me how messed up my school was because for the first time I've met a peer group that made me feel welcome from the day we met.	And it taught me how messed up my school was because for the first time I've met a peer group that made me feel welcome from the day we met.	Und ich habe gelernt, wie kaputt meine Klasse war, weil ich zum Ersten mal in meinem Leben eine Gruppe kennen durfte, die mich willkommen hieß.
474	I mean my classmates could not believe me having a boyfriend, let alone one that was older than me. But my fellow volunteers?	I mean my classmates could not believe me having a boyfriend, let alone one that was older than me. But my fellow volunteers?	Meine Schulklasse konnte sich ja nichmal vorstellen, dass ich überhaupt einen Freund hatte, erst recht keinen ältern. Aber die anderen FSJ-ler?
475	When I told them about being single, they were genuinely surprised. I was lovable to them and that was just a huge relief for me at the time.	When I told them about being single, they were genuinely surprised. I was lovable to them and that was just a huge relief for me at the time.	Als ich gesagt habe, dass ich gerade keinen Freund habe, konnte sich das niemand vorstellen. Ich war liebenswürdig für sie! Was eine Erleichterung.
476	But the best thing about these seminar weeks was that old oven they had at the hostel.	But the best thing about these seminar weeks was that old oven they had at the hostel.	Aber das Beste an den Seminarwochen war die Kuschelecke im Gruppenraum.
477	It was an old farmhouse with wooden beams everywhere and a nice warm nuck above the cob fireplace.	It was an old farmhouse with wooden beams everywhere and a nice warm nuck above the cob fireplace.	Es war in einem alten Gehöft mit wunderschönem Gebälk und einem gemütlichen, warmen Platz auf dem Lehmofen.
478	One evening, Alex and Deanah went up with me to be cozy and talk. I told them about my comic stash, we cuddled, we cobbled when suddenly,	One evening, Alex and Deanah went up with me to be cozy and talk. I told them about my comic stash, we cuddled, we cobbled when suddenly,	An einem Abend haben Alex und Diana sich da mit mir zum quasseln verabredet. Ich habe ihnen von meiner Comic-Kiste erzählt, wir haben gekuschelt, gekabbelt und plötzlich
479	Lukas sat on top of me, again. A pearl of sweat dropped from his nose onto my throat again. He started undoing his shirt again.	Lukas sat on top of me, again. A pearl of sweat dropped from his nose onto my throat again. He started undoing his shirt again.	saß Lukas wieder auf mir, eine Perle Schweiß fiel wieder von seiner Nase auf meinen Hals. Er hat wieder sein Hemd aufgemacht.
480	I was starting to drift away, when Deanah shook me.	I was starting to drift away, when Deanah shook me.	Ich war dabei wegzudriften, als mich plötzlich Diana geschüttelt hat.
481	I was so scared.	I was so scared.	Ich hatte Panik.
482	They were so worried.	They were so worried.	Sie waren so besorgt.
483	They asked so many questions, about what just happend, so I told them how I messed up with Lukas	They asked so many questions, about what just happend, so I told them how I messed up with Lukas	Sie haben mich gefragt, was gewesen ist also habe ich ihnen erzählt, wie ich mit Lukas verkackt habe
484	and Deanah just tried to talk me into believing I got raped.	and Deanah just tried to talk me into believing I got raped.	und Diana wollte mir plötzlich einreden, dass ich vergewaltigt wurde!
485	I just ran away.	I just ran away.	Ich bin weggerannt.
486	It felt like everything was my fault. What if Lukas learned what I just said?	It felt like everything was my fault. What if Lukas learned what I just said?	Es hat sich alles angefühlt wie meine Schuld. Was wenn Lukas davon erfährt, was ich gesagt hatte?
487	I saw a playground and just started hitting this stupid wiggle clown.	I saw a playground and just started hitting this stupid wiggle clown.	ch habe einen Spielplatz gesehen und einfach diese dumme Clown-Wippe verprügelt!
488	I didn't really notice how one of the adults came and sat near me on a swing.	I didn't really notice how one of the adults came and sat near me on a swing.	Ich habe gar nicht gemerkt, wie sich einer der Betreuer auf eine Schaukel in meiner Nähe gesetzt hatte.
489	I eventually joined them.	I eventually joined them.	Irgendwann habe ich mich dann auch dazu gesetzt.
490	We talked a lot about the stars that night. How we alone can give meaning to the whole universe, because we gave it the ability to understand itself.	We talked a lot about the stars that night. How we alone can give meaning to the whole universe, because we gave it the ability to understand itself.	Wir haben über die Sterne geredet. Darüber, dass allein wir dem Universum einen Sinn geben, weil das Universum sich ohne uns nicht verstehen könnte.
491	To see its beauty. It helped a lot.	To see its beauty. It helped a lot.	Weil es sich ohne uns nicht schön finden könnte. Das hat mir gut getan.
492	In our next seminar week, there was a workshop about consent.	In our next seminar week, there was a workshop about consent.	Zur nächsten Seminarwoche gab es einen Workshop über Consent.
493	I was unsure at first, but signed up for it nonetheless.	I was unsure at first, but signed up for it nonetheless.	Ich war mir erst nicht sicher, aber hab mich dann doch eingetraten.
494	This is where I understood that Lukas never asked me, that I froze because he jumped me, and that I am not alone.	This is where I understood that Lukas never asked me, that I froze because he jumped me, and that I am not alone.	Da habe ich verstanden, dass Lukas mich nie gefragt hatte, dass ich eingefroren bin, weil er mich überumpelt hat, dass er hätte mitbekommen müssen, wie ich weggetreten bin und, dass ich damit wirklich nicht alleine bin.
495	It still took me some time to fully accept, that I was not to blame.	It still took me some time to fully accept, that I was not to blame.	Es hat trotzdem noch eine Weile gebraucht, bis die Schuldgefühle weg waren.
496	More Options	More Options	Mehr Optionen
497	MementoLabel_collect	collect	einsammeln
498	MementoLabel_CN	CN	CN
499	MementoLabel_Draeven
500	MementoLabel_DraevenCN	Alienation	Einsamkeit
501	MementoLabel_Childhood
502	MementoLabel_ChildhoodCN	Eating Issues, Alienation, Swearing	Probleme mit Essen, soziale Isolation, Fluchen
503	MementoLabel_Voice
504	MementoLabel_VoiceCN	Internalised Mysoginy, Nudity, Bullying, Comic Voilence	Internalisierte Mysogynie, Nacktheit, Mobbing, fiktive Gewalt
505	MementoLabel_Jui_Jutsu
506	MementoLabel_Jui_JutsuCN	Body Issues (Gender-Dysphoria), Non-consensual Sex, Dissociation, Self-Blame, Swearing	Probleme mit dem Körperbild (Geschlechtsdysphorie), nicht-konsensueller Sex, Dissoziation, Selbstvorwürfe, Fluchen
507	MementoLabel_Transition
508	MementoLabel_TransitionCN	null	none
509	MementoLabel_DnD
510	MementoLabel_DndCN
511	MementoLabel_Voluntary
512	MementoLabel_VoluntaryCN
513	MementoLabel_Christmas
514	MementoLabel_ChristmasCN
515	MementoLabel_Eating
516	MementoLabel_EatingCN
517	MementoLabel_Uni
518	MementoLabel_UniCN
519	MementoLabel_Therapy
520	MementoLabel_TherapyCN
521	MementoLabel_Burnout
522	MementoLabel_BurnoutCN
523	menu_a11y_title	Accessibility	Barrierefreiheit
524	menu_a11y_disclaimer	Greyed-out items do not work yet.	Ausgegraute Optionen funktionieren noch nicht.
525	menu_a11y_fonts	Font-Style	Schriftart
526	menu_a11y_subtitles	Subtitles	Untertitel
527	menu_a11y_scale	UI Scale	UI-Skalierung
528	menu_a11y_motion	reduce Motion and Flickering	reduziere Animationen und Flackern
529	menu_a11y_screenreader	Use Screenreader (very borked as of now)	Screen-Reader aktivieren (derzeit noch ziemlich kaputt)
530	menu_a11y_disable_video	Disable Video	Video deaktivieren
531	menu_a11y_disable_video_tooltip	In case you are not using your graphics cards anyway.	Falls du deine Grafikkarte eh nicht nutzt.
532	menu_a11y_hyperacoustics_filter	Reduce audio noise	Geräusche dämpfen
533	Show Navigation	Show Navigation	Navigation anzeigen
534	Font-Style	Font-Style	Schriftart
535	messy handwriting	Messy Handwriting	Unleserliche Handschrift
536	easy handwriting	Easy Handwriting	Einfache Handschrift
537	serif	Serif Font	Serifenschrift
538	hyperlegible sans	Hyper Legible Font	Extrem lesbar Serifenfrei
539	system font	System Font	System-Schriftart
540	subtitles	Subtitles	Untertitel
541	spoken text	Spoken Text	Gesprochener Text
542	closed captions	Closed Captions	Untertitel für Hörgeschädigte
543	UI Scale	UI Scale	UI Skalierung
544	menu_a11y_statement	Open Information on Accessibility	Informationen zu Barrierefreiheit öffnen