This setting disables the surround center channel. May resolve you not hearing speech when your Operating Sustem has a misconfigured surround setup.,This setting disables the surround center channel. May resolve you not hearing speech when your Operating Sustem has a misconfigured surround setup.,"Diese Einstellung deaktiviert den Center-Kanal. Solltest du wegen einer fehlerhaften Surround-Konfiguration keine Sprachausgabe hören, könnte diese Option das beheben.",,,
Language Settings,Language Settings,Spracheinstellungen,,,
Interface,Interface,Oberfläche,,,
Voice Lines,Voice Lines,Sprachausgabe,,,
Find Subtitle Settings in Acessability Settings.,Find Subtitle Settings in Acessability Settings.,Untertiteloptionen sind unter Optionen für Barrierefreiheit.,,,
use OS Language,use OS Language,Betriebssystemsprache nutzen,,,
This is made by betalars, who has many overlapping experiences with this character. They made sure to consult people, who can speak from their own experiences about subjects, where betalars could not.
This is made by betalars, who has many overlapping experiences with this character. They made sure to consult people, who can speak from their own experiences about subjects, where betalars could not.
Dieses Spiel wurde von einer Gruppe an Leuten geschaffen, die sehr spezifische Erfahrungen, die sie gemeinsam gemacht haben, teilen wollten.
Dieses Spiel ist von betalars. An vielen Stellen wurde hier aus eigener Erfahrung geschrieben und da, wo keine eigenen Erfahrungen da waren, wurden Betroffene einbezogen.
[/ul]",,,leave the [ul] and [/ul] please avoid using gendered words for betalars if possible (they are non-binary)
What may be difficult about the premise?,What may be difficult about the premise?,Warum könnte die Prämisse schwierig sein?,,,
"In this game, you will encounter situations that are problematic and will have a negative impact on the Mental Health of the character you are playing as. This game will establish hurtful assumptions this character develops about themselves and you may not resolve all of them right away. You will have some agency, but it is limited by the games narrative and also chance. You are encouraged and will be able to resolve hurtful assumptions later in the game.","In this game, you will encounter situations that are problematic and will have a negative impact on the Mental Health of the character you are playing as. This game will establish hurtful assumptions this character develops about themselves and you may not resolve all of them right away. You will have some agency, but it is limited by the games narrative and also chance. You are encouraged and will be able to resolve hurtful assumptions later in the game.","Dieses Spiel wird Erfahrungen thematisieren, die sich negativ auf den gespielten Charakter auswirken. Das Spiel wird schädliche Annahmen etablieren, die der Charakter über sich hat und nicht immer sofort auflösen. Du kannst darauf Einfluss nehmen, aber deine Möglichkeiten sind durch Spielmechanik und Narrative beschränkt. Du sollst und kannst vieles später aufarbeiten.",,,
What are the game's topics? (Content Notes),What are the game's topics? (Content Notes),Worum geht es im Spiel (Content Warnungen),,,
"This game discusses Mental Health and Sex-Positivity. It also includes a character, who is trans but you will get to know them while they are unaware about their trans identity going by their birthname. Besides social Transistioning, this game also deals with topics including Mysoginy, Sanism, Body Issues, Eating Disorders, Bullying, Martial Arts, Relationships and Rape, but not trough physical violence. Comic violence is mentioned while talking about a fictional franchise in universe.","This game discusses Mental Health and Sex-Positivity. It also includes a character, who is trans but you will get to know them while they are unaware about their trans identity going by their birthname. Besides social Transistioning, this game also deals with topics including Mysoginy, Sanism, Body Issues, Eating Disorders, Bullying, Martial Arts, Relationships and Rape, but not trough physical violence. Comic violence is mentioned while talking about a fictional franchise in universe.","In diesem Spiel geht es um mentale Gesundheit und Sex-Positivität. Es enthält einen trans Charakter, der sich darüber nicht im klaren ist und daher auch zunächst noch keinen eigenen Namen hat. Neben Sozialer Transition thematisiert das Spiel Mysoginie, Diskriminierung wegen mentalen Behinderungen, Probleme mit dem Körperbild, Essstörungen, Mobbing, Kampfkunst, Beziehungen und Vergewaltigungen, jedoch nicht durch körperliche Gewalt. Comic Gewalt wird erwähnt in einer im Spiel fiktionalen Geschichte.",,,"The Rape being discussed in this game is non-consensual sex, but also non-voilent."
ein Leben vollumfänglich zeigen können.[/i][/center]",,,"This is intentionally phrased as “only one game” instead of “only a game”, hinting at it being meaningful, but limited in what it can convey on its own."
Displays content note and currently playing music at a corner of the screen.,Displays content note and currently playing music at s corner of the screen.,Zeigt Hinweise zu sensiblen Themen und aktuell laufender Musik an einer Ecke des Bildschirms an.,,,
none,none,keine,,,
top left,top left,oben links,,,
top right,top right,oben rechts,,,
bottom left,bottom left,unten links,,,
bottom right,bottom right,unten rechts,,,
save and exit,save and exit,speichern und zurück,,,
"Lukas did not ask for consent, he didn't explain a thing, I didn’t even move! Yet he dared to assume, that ","Lukas did not ask for consent, he didn't explain a thing, I didn’t even move! Yet he dared to assume, that ","Lukas hat mich nicht gefragt, er hat nichts erklärt und trotzdem wagte er es zu glauben:",,,It is very crucial that this sentence and the next line form a complete sentence
p_wet,"I was wet, so I must have been into it?","Ich war feucht, also hab ich es wohl gewollt?",,,This line on itself should seem like a intrusive thought on it’s own without the contect above.
"Lukas jumped me, he didn't even explain a thing or ask consent. I was confused and paralised, so ","Lukas jumped me, he didn't even explain a thing or ask consent. I was confused and paralised, so ","Lukas hat mich überrumpelt, er hat nichts erklärt oder überhaupt gefragt, was ich wollte. Ich war im Moment nicht mehr ich selbst und",,,It is very crucial that this sentence and the next line form a complete sentence
p_stop,I didn’t say stop.,Ich habe nicht Stopp gesagt.,,,This line on itself should seem like a intrusive thought on it’s own without the contect above.
"Oh, my old mask. I have so many good memories about theatre club. ","Oh, my old mask. I have so many good memories about theatre club. ","Nahw, meine gute alte Maske. Ich habe so schöne Erinnerungen an die Theater-AG. ",,,
"I would stand on my bed for entire afternoons, weeks on end, practicing my lines. Pretending to be on the big stage ... ","I would stand on my bed for entire afternoons, weeks on end, practicing my lines. Pretending to be on the big stage … ","Ich hab den ganzen Nachmittag geübt, wochenlang. Mein Bett eine große Bühne … ",,,
"my mom would get mad at me, when she had to call me three or four times for dinner. ",The way my mom would call me down over and over for dinner was just -,"Es gab so oft Zoff, weil mich meine Mutter immer wieder zum Essen rufen musste. ",,,
I just … didn't like the interruptions. We both were often mad at each other.,I did not like the interruptions. We would get so mad at each other. ,Ich konnte die Unterbrechungen einfach nicht ab. Wir haben uns so oft deswegen gestritten. ,,,
Dinner was difficult.,Dinner was difficult. ,Abendbrot war die Hölle. ,,,
"I just couldn't bring myself to eat, because I couldn't deal with the bread and my mom.","I just couldn't bring myself to eat, because I couldn't deal with the bread and my mom. ","Ich weiß nicht, was mich mehr gestört hat: das Brot oder Mom. ",,,
She was always so worried.,She was always so worried: ,Sie war immer besorgt. ,,,
" ‘Lisa, you forgot your homework, Lisa why won't you play with the other girls,""","‘Lisa, you forgot your homework! Lisa why won't you play with the other girls? ","“Lisa, deine Hausaufgaben! Lisa, warum warst du heute nicht bei den Mädels draußen? ",,,
"""Lisa why didn't Steffi invite you to her birthday, Lisa this, Lisa that.’",Lisa why didn't Steffi invite you to her birthday? Lisa this.Lisa that.’ ,"Lisa, warum hat dich Steffi nicht eingeladen? Lisa dies. Lisa das.” ",,,
But I was fine! She just wouldn't listen.,But I was fine! She just wouldn't listen. ,"Mir ging es gut, okay? Als ob sie das je interessiert hätte. ",,,
"Yes, I didn't do homework, but my teachers didn't mind it as much with me ","Yes, I didn't do homework, but my teachers didn't mind it as much with me, ","Natürlich habe ich keine Hausaufgaben gemacht, aber das hat in der Schule bei mir auch niemand' interessiert, ",,,
- which the other kids wouldn't shut up about. But like …,which the other kids wouldn't shut up about. But like…,"außer meine Klasse vielleicht, aber wer interessiert sich schon für die? ",,,
they also made fun of me reading school books and talking to my teachers during breaks.,they also made fun of me reading school books and talking to my teachers during breaks. ,"Vielleicht hätten die auch mal ein Buch in die Hand nehmen sollen, statt sich darüber zu zerreißen, dass ich in der Pause lieber mit den Erwachsenen geredet habe. ",,,
But at least I could fucking talk to teachers and they had stuff to say.,But at least I could fucking talk to teachers and they had stuff to say. ,Immerhin konnte man mit denen reden und die haben auch was erzählt. ,,,
Mr Thomas probably even understood me better than my own mom.,Mr. Thomas probably even understood me better than my own mom. ,Herr Thomas hat mich vermutlich besser verstanden als meine eigene Mutter. ,,,
He said I was gifted. He said I just didn't need homework for good grades.,He said I was gifted. He said I just didn't need homework for good grades. ,"Er hat immer gesagt, ich bin begabt, weil ich gute Noten auch ohne Hausaufgaben geschafft habe. ",,,
And he also made sure to always include extra credits. So my silly slip-ups wouldn't get me a B.,And he also always made sure to include extra credits. So my silly slip-ups wouldn't get me a B.,"Und er hat immer Fleißaufgaben gehabt, damit ich auch mit Schusselfehlern eine Eins bekomme. ",,,
Moonlight trickled down through clouds and twigs as Dräven tapped through the night.,Moonlight trickled down through clouds and twigs as Dräven tapped through the night. ,"Das Mondlicht spielte mit Wolken und Geäst, da lief Dräven durch die Nacht. ",,,
He had been searching for a while and he knew a special someone must be hiding in the thicket.,"He had been searching for a while, and he knew a special someone must be hiding in the thicket. ","Lange schon suchte er vergeblich, doch war er sich heute gewiss: jemand ganz besonderes hält sich zwischen Farnen und Gestrüpp versteckt. ",,,
"When a familiar smell first led him to a few bronce hairs as fluffy as his tail, he didn't think much of it.","When a familiar smell first led him to a few bronze hairs as fluffy as his tail, he didn't think much of it. ","Er dachte sich nichts dabei, als ihn neulich ein vertrauter Geruch zu einem Büschel Haare führte: Bronzen und so weich, wie sein eigener Schweif. ",,,
"But then he saw paw-prints, that matched his own where he had not been. Would he finally find someone of his kind?","But then he saw paw prints, that matched his own where he had not been. Would he finally find someone of his kind? ","Doch dann Spuren, die den seinen glichen, wo er noch nicht gewesen war. Würde er endlich seinesgleichen finden? ",,,
"He was sure of it, as the familiar scent has never been stronger than tonight.","He was sure of it, as the familiar scent has never been stronger than tonight. ","Bestimmt, denn der vertraute Duft war heute Nacht so stark wie nie. ",,,
When suddenly: Was that chatter?,When suddenly: Was that chatter? ,Plötzlich: War das Keckern? ,,,
His wings rustled with joy over the familiar voice and Dräven decided to get a better look.,His wings rustled with joy over the familiar voice and Dräven decided to get a better look. ,Seine Flügel raschelten vor Freude über die vertraute Stimme und Drävens Neugier war geweckt. ,,,
"A few flaps and leaps brought him up a tree, to get a glimpse of his soon to be friend.","A few flaps and leaps brought him up a tree, to get a glimpse of his soon to be friend. ","Flatternd sprang er in Wipfel, um einen Blick auf seinen baldigen Freund zu erhaschen. ",,,
But all he saw was a fox.,But all he saw was a fox. ,Doch er sah nichts als einen Fuchs. ,,,
He didn't even want to bother it anymore.,He didn't even want to bother it anymore. ,Er wollte sich dem Tier nicht einmal mehr nähern. ,,,
"It would just scream and laugh at his wings of leafs, just like the trees crackled at his paws, that were no roots.","It would just scream and laugh at his wings of leaves, just like the trees crackled at his paws, that were no roots. ","Es würde eh nur Kreischen vor Lachen über seine Flügel aus Blättern. Genau wie die Bäume sich geschüttelt haben über seine Pfoten, die keine Wurzeln sind. ",,,
"With a small whimper, Dräven spread his wings, and slid away to at least find comfort by seeing his reflection in the nearby lake.","With a small whimper, Dräven spread his wings, and slid away to at least find comfort by seeing his reflection in the nearby lake. ",Wimmernd schlug Dräven seine Flügel auf und glitt davon zu seinem Lieblingsplatz am See. Vielleicht vermochte ihn sein Spiegelbild zu trösten. ,,,
"It took him a while to notice, how there was a sudden silence when the clouds broke: ","It took him a while to notice, how there was a sudden silence when the clouds broke: ","Dräven hätte fast nicht gemerkt, wie der Wald den Atem anhielt, als sich die Wolken teilten. ",,,
"Northern lights danced through the sky to form wings, that met at a sleek body made of stars and clouds.",Northern lights danced through the sky to form wings that met at a sleek body made of stars and clouds. ,Nordlicht tanzte durch den Himmel und wurde zu Flügeln an einem schlanken Körper aus Sternenlicht und Wolken. ,,,
The whole forest held its breath as it stared into eyes of moonlight gazing down.,The whole forest held its breath as it stared into eyes of moonlight gazing down. ,"Der ganze Wald sah ehrfürchtig zu Augen aus Mondlicht hinauf, die verträumt den Blick erwiderten. ",,,
Dräven was moved to tears when he gazed back at it. He was sad for the dragon that was of the moon and the stars and the skies.,Dräven was moved to tears when he gazed back at it. He was sad for the dragon that was of the moon and the stars and the skies. ,"Dräven war zu Tränen gerührt, als er in hinauf sah. Voller Trauer um den Drachen, der von Wolken, Sternen und Mondlicht war. ",,,
It must feel so lost in the universe.,It must feel so lost in the universe. ,Er muss sich so verloren fühlen am Himmel. ,,,
But his tears were of joy: It was the first time Dräven saw another creature of many kinds.,But his tears were of joy: It was the first time Dräven saw another creature of many kinds. ,"Doch es waren Tränen der Freude. Denn es war das erste Mal, dass Dräven ein anderes Viel-Wesen sah. ",,,
Why do i still have this junk lying around? its not like I want to do ju jutsu ever again. I just fucked it.,Why do I still have this junk lying around? It's not like I want to do jiu-jitsu ever again. I just fucked it. ,"Boah, warum hängt hier noch dieser Müll? Ich hab Jiu Jitsu einfach verkackt. ",,,
I mean I did enjoy it while it lasted. Being able to properly hit people was great.,I mean I did enjoy it while it lasted. Being able to properly hit people was great. ,Ich meine… Ich hatte Spaß damals. Leute gut schlagen können ist großartig. ,,,
"It gave me the confidence to intimidate students, that were begging to get folded and - as I only once actually got to do that - it also was a great vent for anger. ",It gave me the confidence to intimidate students that were begging to get folded and - as I only once actually got to do that - it also was a great vent for anger. ,"Es gab mir Selbstvertrauen. Ich konnte Leute einschüchtern, wenn sie darum gebettelt haben aufs Maul zu bekommen und weil ich das nur einmal tatsächlich getan habe, war es auch ein super Ventil. ",,,
I mean my tits just about killed me during warmup and the changing room really didn't need mirrors - thank you I know my hips are fat and disgusting - but at least there was Lukas.,I mean my tits just about killed me during warmup and the changing room really didn't need mirrors - thank you I know my hips are fat and disgusting - but at least there was Lukas. ,"Ich meine… Meine Titten waren die Hölle beim Aufwärmen und die Umkleide hat wirklich keinen Spiegel gebraucht. Vielen Dank, ich brauche keine Erinnerung an meinen fetten Arsch. Aber wenigstens hatte ich Lukas. ",,,
He was such a huge nerd. He studied math in his third semester and could talk for hours about his passion.,He was such a huge nerd. He studied math in his third semester and could talk for hours about his passion. ,Er war so ein Nerd. Er konnte so gut reden. Über Mathe. Er war in seinem dritten Semester und konnte stundenlang erzählen. ,,,
Also: my math grades pretty much leaped for my final year in high school thanks to him.,So my math grades pretty much leaped for my final year in high school thanks to him. ,Und ich glaube mein Mathe-Abi war bestimmt drei Punkte besser durch ihn. ,,,
"He also helped me so much with jiu jitsu, as he properly floored me when I slipped up. ",And he helped me so much with jiu-jitsu.,"Und ach, bei Jiu Jitsu… Es hat mir so sehr geholfen, dass er mich einfach anständig hingelegt hat, wenn ich gefailed habe. ",,,
Also - unlike everyone else - he understood that I didn't want people to mind my chest.,"Unlike everyone else - he understood that I didn't want people to mind my chest, and he probably made me hit the floor whenever I made a mistake.","Und er war der einzige, der wirklich verstanden hat, dass mir egal war, ob Leute mir an die Brüste kommen. ",,,
So Fighting for wins with him was actually rewarding even tho more often than not I ended up having to tap out.,So fighting for wins was actually rewarding even though more often than not I ended up having to tap out. ,"Mit ihm war Kämpfen so gut – auch wenn ich üblicherweise diejenige war, die abschlagen musste und nicht er. ",,,
We also had my first proper kiss. I thought I loved him. But now?,We also had my first proper kiss. I thought I loved him. But now? ,"Wir hatten auch meinen ersten richtigen Kuss. Ich war so verliebt, und jetzt? ",,,
He was weird that evening. Even more huggy and hyperactive than usual.,Uhm... he was weird that evening. Even more huggy and hyperactive than usual. ,Es war so merkwürdig. Irgendwie noch hibbeliger und näher als so schon. ,,,
"We were under my bed, reading my secret comic stash when I got tired of the floor and told him we should go upstairs.","We were under my bed, reading my secret comic stash when I got tired of the floor and told him we should go upstairs. ","Wir waren unterm Bett, haben meine geheime Comic-Kiste gelesen, als ich keine Lust mehr auf Boden hatte und gesagt hab, lass hoch gehen. ",,,
We had a play fight on my mattress. I've never seen him fight like this.,We had a play fight on my mattress. I've never seen him fight like this. ,Wir haben auf meiner Matratze gekabbelt. Es war so… anders. ,,,
"His fingers Curled across my Skin without grabbing me, like he would normally do. And he let me win","His fingers curled across my skin without grabbing me, like he would normally do. And he let me win… ","Seine Finger sind über meinen Körper geglitten, ohne mich zu greifen - und er hat mich gewinnen lassen, ",,,
… with this smirk on his face.,with this smirk on his face.,mit diesem Grinsen. ,,,
"I rolled over exhausted when suddenly he sat on top of me, a pearl of sweat dropped from his nose on my throat.","I rolled over exhausted when suddenly he sat on top of me, a pearl of sweat dropped from his nose on to my throat. ","Ich habe mich erschöpft zur Seite gerollt, als er plötzlich auf mir saß. Eine Perle Schweiß fiel von seiner Nase auf meinen Hals. ",,,
He started undoing his shirt.,He started undoing his shirt. ,Er hat sein Hemd aufgemacht. ,,,
Do you have condoms?,”Do you have condoms?” ,"""Hast du Kondome?"" ",,,
"Yes, of course everybody has Why did he ask that?","”Yes, of course everybody has."" Why did he ask that? ","""Natürlich, jeder hat Kondome."" Warum hat er das gefragt? ",,,
"I saw my body lying on the bed, getting undressed. I was drifting away, towards the stars.","I saw my body lying on the bed, getting undressed. I was drifting away, towards the stars. ","Ich habe gesehen, wie mein Körper entkleidet wurde. Ich war schwerelos zwischen den Sternen. ",,,
My body didn't move. It didn't say a word when the butterflies tried to escape from its stomach as he kissed it.,My body didn't move. It didn't say a word when the butterflies tried to escape from my stomach as he kissed it. ,"Mein Körper hat sich nicht bewegt. Mein Mund hat nichts gesagt, als die Schmetterlinge aus meinem Bauch ausbrechen wollten, weil der geküsst wurde. ",,,
"I … observed him from afar. He … didn't seem to notice, that I had left.",I… observed him from afar. He… didn't seem to notice that I had left. ,"Ich habe Lukas von Weitem beobachtet. Ihm ist nicht aufgefallen, dass ich nicht mehr da war. ",,,
That I didn't return to kiss him goodbye. That I didn't hug him when he went home.,That I didn't return to kiss him goodbye. That I didn't hug him when he went home. ,Dass ich ihm keinen Abschiedskuss gegeben habe. Dass ich ihn an der Tür nicht umarmt habe. ,,,
My hands knocked on my brother’s door. He let me lie on his carpet.,My hands knocked on my brother’s door. He let me lie on his carpet. ,Meine Hände klopften an Fabis Tür. Ich durfte auf seinem Teppich liegen. ,,,
"I saw my body lying on the bed, getting undressed. I was drifting away, towards the stars.","I saw my body lying on the bed, getting undressed. I was drifting away, towards the stars. ","Ich habe gesehen, wie mein Körper entkleidet wurde. Ich war schwerelos zwischen den Sternen. ",,,
My body didn’t move. It didn’t say a word when the butterflies tried to escape from it’s stomach as he kissed it.,My body didn’t move. It didn’t say a word when the butterflies tried to escape from my stomach as he kissed it. ,"Mein Körper hat sich nicht bewegt. Mein Mund hat nichts gesagt, als die Schmetterlinge aus meinem Bauch ausbrechen wollten, weil der geküsst wurde. ",,,
"I … observed him from afar. He … didn't seem to notice, that I had left.",I… observed him from afar. He… didn’t seem to notice that I had left. ,"Ich habe Lukas von Weitem beobachtet. Ihm ist nicht aufgefallen, dass ich nicht mehr da war. ",,,
That I didn’t return to kiss him good bye. That I didn’t hug him when he went home.,That I didn’t return to kiss him goodbye. That I didn’t hug him when he went home. ,Dass ich ihm keinen Abschiedskuss gegeben habe. Dass ich ihn an der Tür nicht umarmt habe. ,,,
My hands knocked on my brother’s door. He let me lie on his carpet.,My hands knocked on my brother’s door. He let me lie on his carpet. ,Meine Hände Klopften an Fabis tür. Ich durfte auf seinem Teppich liegen. ,,,
I slowly returned.,I slowly returned. ,Langsam bin ich zurückgekehrt. ,,,
"""How did it go?, Fabian asked.","""How did it go?, Fabian asked. ","“Wie wars?”, fragte mein Bruder. ",,,
"""It was moist”, I said.","""It was... moist”, I said. ","“Feucht?”, sagte ich. ",,,
“That usually helps.”,“That usually helps.” ,"“Das hilft normalerweise."" ",,,
"He laughed awkwardly. I just wanted to also laugh, but curled into a ball and cried.","He laughed awkwardly. I just wanted to also laugh, but... curled into a ball and cried. ","Er lachte peinlich berührt. Ich wollte auch lachen, aber ich habe mich zusammen gerollt und geweint. ",,,
It took him a while to say something. “I … you … it's fine Lisa. I know it hurts the first time.”,It took him a while to say something. “I… you… it's fine Lisa. I know it hurts the first time.” ,"Er hat eine Weile gebraucht um etwas zu sagen. “Ich… du… Lisa, es ist okay. Ich weiß das erste Mal tut weh."" ",,,
He gently stroked the back I was curling towards him.,He gently stroked the back I was curling towards him. ,"Sanft streichelte er den Rücken, den ich ihm hin hielt. ",,,
That was good. He was a sweet angel. Why must he be so bad at comforting?,That was good. He was a sweet angel. Why must he be so bad at comforting? ,Das war gut. Fabi ist so gut zu mir. Warum muss er so schlecht im Trösten sein? ,,,
My secret comic stash. I remember playing Clue-Men with the boys.,My secret comic stash! I remember playing Clue-Men with the boys. ,Meine geheime Comic-Kiste. Wir hatten damals mit den Jungs so viel Clue-Men gespielt. ,,,
I had a voice for every character in that comic. But more often than not I played him: Agent Q.,I had a voice for every character in that comic. But more often than not I played him: Agent Q. ,Ich hatte eine Stimme für jeden Charakter in diesem Comic. Am liebsten aber war ich er: Agent Q. ,,,
"Going under the radar, putting in precise work to save the world.","Going under the radar, putting in precise work to save the world. ","Mit chirurgischer Präzision im Verborgenen arbeiten, um die Welt zu retten. ",,,
Not having to deal with being a girl.,Not having to deal with being a girl. ,Kein Mädchen sein müssen. ,,,
"Boys were so much easier. They like cars, bikes, guns and agents.","Boys were so much easier. They like cars, bikes, guns and agents. ","Jungs sind so viel einfacher. Sie mögen Autos, Motorräder, Waffen und Agenten. ",,,
They don't talk behind your back. They don't think everything is about relationships.,They don't talk behind your back. They don't think everything is about relationships. ,Jungs reden nicht hinter deinem Rücken. Jungs denken nicht alles dreht sich um Beziehungen. ,,,
"Girls don't get that. I knew they talked behind my back about me only “pretending” to like boy stuff, so I’d get laid ","Girls don't get that. I knew they talked behind my back about me only “pretending” to like boy stuff, so I’d get laid.","Mädchen verstehen das nicht. Ich weiß sie haben über mich gelästert. Dass ich Jungs Kram nur gemocht hätte, um jemanden ins Bett zu kriegen… ",,,
"… I mean, maybe they were right?","I mean, maybe they were right? ","Ich meine, vielleicht war was dran? ",,,
Like I won't deny I was probably the first girl in my class to see a dick.,Like I won't deny I was probably the first girl in my class to see a dick. ,Ich hab vermutlich als erstes Mädchen meiner Stufe einen Schwanz gesehen. ,,,
"But like - that’s what the boys do, right?","But like - that’s what the boys do, right? ","Aber das machen Jungs halt miteinander, oder? ",,,
At least it has gotten better after me and Jojo became friends.,At least it has gotten better after me and Jojo became friends. ,"Zumindest hat es sich gebessert, nachdem Jojo und ich Freundinnen wurden. ",,,
I still remember how that happend. I did a voice acting workshop in art class. ,I still remember how that happened. I did a voice acting workshop in art class. ,Die Geschichte ist großartig. Ich durfte in Kunst einen Vortrag über Voice Acting halten. ,,,
Being allowed to share my technique in front of everyone was just :D,Being allowed to share my technique in front of everyone was just :D ,Meine Technik mit allen teilen können war einfach nur :D ,,,
I mean next to nobody put in any effort. But Jojo did.,"I mean next to nobody put in any effort in, but Jojo did. ","Ich meine… Niemand hat sich wirklich angestrengt, außer Jojo halt. ",,,
"When our Mr Funny then decided to ape her attempts instead of just minding his own, I pretty much exploded.","When our Mr. Funny then decided to ape her attempts instead of just minding his own, I pretty much exploded. ","Als unser Klassenclown sie dann nachäffen musste, anstatt sich um seinen Scheiß zu kümmern, bin ich einfach explodiert. ",,,
"After this, we suddenly were besties. And my class finally started to just leave me be. ","After this, we suddenly were besties and my class finally started to just leave me be. ",Danach hatte ich plötzlich eine beste Freundin und endlich meine Ruhe. ,,,
Maybe because I for once was friends with another girl. Maybe because I scared them. Maybe both.,Maybe because I for once was friends with another girl. Maybe because I scared them. Maybe both. ,"Vielleicht, weil ich nun auch mit einem Mädchen befreundet war. Vielleicht weil die Mobber plötzlich Angst vor mir hatten. Vermutlich beides. ",,,
Die Kennzeichnung trifft nicht zwangsläufig auf das finale Spiel zu.","*USK-rating is related to the Games for Family-booth at Spielraum-Messe Dresden.
lang-disclaimer,"""Frame of Mind"" is as of now not yet fully localised for German.","""Frame of Mind"" ist noch nicht voll ins Deutsche übersetzt.",,,
Find all three Momentos to collect all thoughts.,Find all three Momentos to gather all thoughts.,Finde die drei Erinnerungen um alle Gedanken zu sammeln. ,,,
Find two more Momentos to collect all cards.,Find two more Momentos to collect all cards.,Finde zwei weitere Erinnerungen um alle Karten zu sammeln.,,,
Find the last remaining Momento.,Find the last remaining Momento.,Finde die letzte Erinnerung. ,,,
Attribution,Attribution,Mitwirkende und Danksagung,,,
Thanks for Playing the Demo!,Thanks for playing the demo!,Vielen Dank für’s Demo spielen!,,,
We hope you are looking forward to finding a better frame of mind. ,We hope you are looking forward to finding a better Frame of Mind. ,Wir hoffen ihr freut euch darauf dieses Gedankenspiel weiter zu erkunden.,,,
demo-credits,"Frame of Mind is made by betalars.
They were supported by:
Adrian Schmid, April and somebody that I used to know – Programming
Jas Arianna and Newt – Voice Acting
STTLE – OST
Dieu Linh Vu, Polynormal Games - Producing, Publishing and Marketing
Frame of Mind was created in Godot 4.
Special thanks to: nase, Jenny, nek0, map-c, Svenja, caesey, Milo, Francis, Christoph,
the R42 Games Accellerator and to the contributers of blender, godot and inkscape.
Frame of mind is would not have been possible without purple sloth games.","Frame of Mind ist made by betalars.
Dey wurde unterstützt von:
Adrian Schmid, April und einer Person, die ich mal kannte – Programmierung
Jas Arianna and Newt – Voice Acting
STTLE – OST
Dieu Linh Vu, Polynormal Games - Producing, Publishing und Marketing
These Creative Commons pojects made frame of mind possible.,These Creative Commons pojects made Frame of Mind possible.,Diese Creative Commons Projekte haben Frame of Mind möglich gemacht. ,,,
Wishlist for a better frame of mind,Wishlist for a better frame of mind,Wishlisten für ein besseres Frame of Mind,,,
"You can move on, but you may not have understood Lisa.","You can move on, but may not have understood Lisa. ","Du kannst weitermachen, aber hast vermutlich Lisa nicht ganz verstanden. ",,,
"You may leave the room, but Lisa only agrees with %d of the %d connections.","You may leave the room, but Lisa only agrees with %d of the %d connections.","Du kannst das Zimmer verlassen, aber Lisa stimmt dir nur in %d von %d Verbindungen zu.",,,
Lisa would like you to leave her room and move on.,Lisa would like you to leave her room and move on.,"Lisa möchte, dass du ihr Jugendzimmer verlässt und weiter machst.",,,
Move on,Move on,Weitermachen,,,
"Life gave you some thoughts you did not choose to keep.
You may try to burn one.","Life gave you some thoughts you did not choose to keep.
You may try to burn one.","Das Leben hat dir ein paar Gedanken mitgegeben die du nicht ausgesucht hast.
Du darfst versuchen, einen zu verbrennen. ",,,
Keep all thoughts,Keep all Thoughts,Behalte alle Gedanken,,,
Combine cards to order your thoughts.,Combine cards to order your thoughts.,"Klebe Karten aufeinander, um die Gedanken zu sortieren.",,,
There are three Mementos left to find.,Find all three Momentos to collect all thoughts.,"Finde all drei Erinnerungen, um alle Gedanken zu sammeln. ",,,
You have collected half of the mementos.,Find two more Momentos to collect all cards.,"Finde zwei weitere Erinnerungen, um alle Karten zu sammeln.",,,
Find the last Memento to complete the Board.,Find the last remaining Momento.,Finde die letzte Erinnerung. ,,,
c_seen,"I never felt seen, let alone understood",Ich habe mich nie gesehen gefühlt und erst recht nicht verstanden,,,
p_understanding_self,no wonder I had also trouble understanding myself.,"kein wunder, dass ich mich selbst nie gut verstanden habe.",,,
p_starting_change,and I am glad this is starting to change.,"und ich bin froh, dass sich das langsam bessert.",,,
c_autistic,Many traits my autistic brother has I also see in me,Ich sehe viele Eigenarten meines autistischen Bruders auch bei mir,,,
p_always_afraid,and I always was afraid of that.,ich habe mich deswegen immer komisch gefühlt.,,,
p_in_hindsight,in hindsight this should have been a sign.,retrospektiv gesehen war das ein Zeichen.,,,
c_support,My instinct is to try and support others,Ich rutsche immer in den Helfer-Modus,,,
p_pride,I take pride in that even though it is exhausting.,"ich bin stolz darauf, auch wenn es erschöpfend ist.",,,
p_not_mutual,and far too often that is not mutual.,das beruht viel zu oft nicht auf Gegenseitigkeit.,,,
c_being_girl,I never liked being a girl,Ich wollte nie ein Mädchen sein,,,
p_other_way,and I guess I just didn't see another way.,ich habe nur irgendwie keine Alternative gesehen.,,,
p_always_known,"I've always known that, but I never really thought about it.","ich habe das immer schon gewusst, ich hab nur nie darüber nachgedacht.",,,
c_not_girl,I don't have to be a girl,Ich muss kein Mädchen sein,,,
p_xavier,that is why my name now is Xavier.,deswegen ist mein Name “Xavier”.,,,
p_fuck_that,and fuck it! I can change that!,"scheiß drauf, ich kann das ändern!",,,
c_find_out,I sometimes like to fuck around and find out,Manchmal muss ich Grenzen austesten,,,
p_rad,this is so rad.,das ist einfach based.,,,
p_consequences,but I also have to accept the consequences then.,ich muss dann halt auch die Konsequenzen aushalten.,,,
c_ran_away,I lashed out and then ran away when my Deanah tried to help me,"Ich wurde richtig aggro und bin dann weg gerannt, als Diana mir helfen wollte.",,,
p_lovable,yet I am still lovable to them.,ich bin trotzdem liebenswürdig für sie.,,,
p_my_trauma,"that isn't me, but it is my trauma.","das war nicht ich, das war mein Trauma.",,,
c_difficult_teachers,School is difficult for teachers too,Schule ist auch für Lehrkräfte fies,,,
p_failing_forward,and there's value in failing forward.,"es ist viel Wert, in der richtigen Richtung zu Scheitern.",,,
p_nightmare_children,children can be nightmares at times.,Kinder können richtig grausam sein.,,,
c_mom,Mom always took care of everything at home,Mom hat sich früher einfach um alles gekümmert,,,
p_good_intensions,"that was well intended, but has now become a burden.","ds war damals gut gemeint, ist aber heute richtig belastend.",,,
p_helplessness,that was the perfect recipe for helplessness.,das ist das perfekte Rezept für erlernte Hilflosigkeit.,,,
c_no_eating,I couldn't bring myself to eat,Ich konnte mich nicht zum Essen bringen,,,
p_coping,and I don't know how people cope with that.,"und ich weiß nicht, wie Leute damit klar kommen.",,,
p_too_everythig,"it's just too loud, too peoply, too ... everything.","… es ist zu laut, zu leutig, zu … alles!",,,
c_adoption,"When Jules saw my struggle, she kind of adopted me",Julses konnte irgendwann nicht mehr zusehen und hat mich mehr oder wneiger adoptiert,,,
p_flawed_help,"it was along the wrong lines, but helpful nontheless.","das ging etwas in die falsche Richtung, war aber trotzdem hilfreich.",,,
p_bodily_needs,my body really needed that.,mein Körper hat das echt gebraucht!,,,
c_mental_health,I wish teachers knew more about mental health,"Es hätte so geholfen, wenn meine Lehrkräfte mehr von mentaler Gesundheit verstanden hätten",,,
p_early_recognition,recognising such things early makes a huge difference.,so Sachen früh erkennen macht einen riesen Unterschied.,,,
p_unhelpful_lectures,unfortunately the lectures I had really did not help me.,leider haben die Vorlesungen dazu mir gar nicht geholfen.,,,
c_adhd_life,I couldn't tell apart my life experience and ADHD,Ich kann mein Leben und ADHS nicht ganz auseinander halten.,,,
p_upset_thoughts,thinking of that makes me so upset.,Ich werde wütend wenn ich nur darüber nachdenke.,,,
p_me_weird,do others think I'm weird because of that?,halten mich andere deswegen für komisch?,,,
c_auti_brother,My autistic brother is one of the most kind and caring people that I know,"Mein autistischer Bruder ist einer der liebsten und fürsorglichsten Menschen, die ich kenne",,,
p_cruel_kindness,it's cruel that the kindest people often hurt the most.,Warum erleben die liebsten Menschen immer auch den größten Scheiß?,,,
p_time_and_faith,you just have to put in time and good faith to see it.,es braucht halt Zeit und Willen das zu sehen.,,,
c_doing_right,I think I am doing the right thing,Ich glaube ich tue das Richtige,,,
p_getting_right,so why can't I get it right like everybody else?,warum also krieg’ ich es nicht wie alle anderen auch gebacken?,,,
p_self_lying,but I could be lying to myself with that.,vielleicht lüge ich mich damit auch selbst an.,,,
c_work_piling,My work just keeps piling up,Meine Arbeit wird immer mehr und mehr,,,
p_push_myself,I must push myself trough that and then it will be better.,"ich muss mich einfach durchbeißen, dann wird das schon.",,,
p_improve_myself,"I can't change that, but I can improve myself.","daran kann ich ncihts ändern, aber ich kann besser werden.",,,
c_best_version,I must become the best version of myself,Ich muss die beste Version von mir selbst werden,,,
p_kids_deserve,the kids deserve seeing me be okay.,"die Kids verdienen, dass es mir gut geht.",,,
p_whoami,so why can't I be myself?,"Warum ist es so unmöglich, einfach nur ich selbst zu sein?",,,
c_right_choice,I don't know if uni was the right choice,"Ich weiß nicht, ob studieren das Richtige für mich war",,,
p_not_belonging,I don't think someone thought that I belonged there.,"ich glaube viele haben gedacht, dass ich da nicht hin gehörte.",,,
p_stubborn,I could not bring myself to do things that made no sense to me.,"Ich kann keine Dinge tun, die ich unsinnig finde.",,,
c_creating_support,I create the support for others that I would have needed myself,"Ich habe für andere die Unterstützung organisiert, die ich selbst gebraucht hätte.",,,
p_self_taught,this has thought me more than anything else had.,noch nie habe ich bei etwas so viel gelernt.,,,
p_peer_review,that is what got me diagnosed by peer review.,das hat mir eine Diagnose per “Peer Review” eingebracht.,,,
c_peer_therapy,My peers helped me more in understanding myself than my therapist,"Ich habe in meiner Studi-Gruppe mehr verstanden über mich, als in meiner Therapie.",,,
p_real_help,that still shouldn't be a substitute for professional help.,trotzdem ist das kein Ersatz für professionelle Hilfe.,,,
p_great_therapy,and that helped me get the most out of my therapy.,dadurch habe ich mehr aus meiner Therapie raus holen können.,,,
c_trauma_regrets,Sometimes I wish my trauma didn't happen to me,"Manchmal will ich, dass mein Trauma nie passiert wäre",,,
p_toxic_thoughts,and I now recognise that is a toxic thought.,Ich glaube das ist ein toxischer Gedanke.,,,
p_diganose_benefits,at least I now have an ADHD Diagnosis.,zumindest habe ich inzwischen eine ADHS Diagnose.,,,
c_cravings,I don't know what to do about my intimate cravings,"Ich weiß nicht, was ich mit meinen intimen Bedürfnissen anfangen soll.",,,
p_therapy_talk,If only I could talk to my therapist about that.,Wenn ich nur mit meinem Therapeuten darüber reden könne.,,,
p_procastinate,but I can accept its there and figure it out later.,ich kann das jetzt akzeptieren und später klären.,,,
c_ex_hurt,I sometimes want to make my Ex feel how much they hurt me,"Manchmal will ich meinen Ex spüren lassen, wie sehr er mir weh getan hat.",,,
p_lessons_learned,on a calm mind I just hope they learned their lesson.,"eigentlich hoffe ich, dass der gleiche Fehler nicht nochmal passiert.",,,
p_thought_spiral,"whenever I focus on that, my thoughts spiral down.",darüber nachdenken bringt mich in ein schwarzes Loch.,,,
I don't know if this was the best or the worst Christmas I remember.,I don't know if this was the best or the worst Christmas I remember.,"Ich weiß nicht, ob es das beste oder schlimmste Weihnachten aller Zeiten war.",,,
What I know is: I have never been so mad at my brother...,What I know is: I have never been so mad at my brother...,"Ich weiß nur, dass ich noch nie so wütend auf meinen Bruder war.",,,
"it's not like I don't love him. It's not like I didn't like to care for him, when he came home with a meltdown.","it's not like I don't love him. It's not like I didn't like to care for him, when he came home with a meltdown.","Es ist ja nicht so, als ob ich ihn nicht liebe. Als ob ich mich nicht immer um ihn gekümmert hätte, als er mit einem Meltdown nach hause kam.",,,
"I cared a lot for him. My parents cared a lot for him, everybody cared a lot for him.","I cared a lot for him. My parents cared a lot for him, everybody cared a lot for him.","ch habe mich immer gekümmert. Meine Eltern haben sich immer gekümmert, alle haben sich immer gekümmert.",,,
He always had it sooo difficult because of his autism. As if I wasn't bullied too.,He always had it sooo difficult because of his autism. As if I wasn't bullied too.,Er hat es ja so schwer gehabt mit seinem Autismus. Als ob ich nicht auch immer das Opfer war.,,,
Anyway … I don’t know why he needed to tell me about his almost first time on christmas eve.,Anyway … I don’t know why he needed to tell me about his almost first time on christmas eve.,"Jedensalls … ich weiß nicht, warum er mir unbedingt Heiligabend von seinem beinahe ersten Mal erzählen musste.",,,
I was immedieately stressed because usually that means he needs comfort but in hindsight I think he meant to tell something holesome?,I was immedieately stressed because usually that means he needs comfort but in hindsight I think he meant to tell something holesome?,"Ich war sofort gestresst, weil ich ihn normalerweise immer trösten muss und inzwischen glaube ich wollte er mir eigentlich was nettes erzählen.",,,
Because he just pressured himself so much into wanting it to happen that he was increadibly releaved when his girlfriend just wanted to play videogames instead.,Because he just pressured himself so much into wanting it to happen that he was increadibly releaved when his girlfriend just wanted to play videogames instead.,"Weil er hatte sich richtig viel Druck gemacht, dass es endlich passiert und war dann unendlich froh darüber, dass seine Freundin einfach “nein” gesagt hat und lieber was zocken wollte.",,,
And it just hit me like a train.,And it just hit me like a train.,Und es hat mich einfach fertig gemacht.,,,
I just unloaded everything on him:,I just unloaded everything on him:,Also habe ich einfach alles raus gelassen:,,,
"How I got treated, how he never gave me comfort, how much I had to care for him and how scared I was …","How I got treated, how he never gave me comfort, how much I had to care for him and how scared I was …","Wie ich behandelt wurde, wie er mich nie getröstet hat, wie ich mich immer kümmern musste und, wie viel Angst ich hatte …",,,
every time I recognized myself trough him.,every time I recognized myself trough him.,"immer, wenn ich mich in ihm gesehen habe.",,,
He just sat there in disbelief until I lost my words.,He just sat there in disbelief until I lost my words.,"Er hat einfach nur da gesessen und mich angestarrt, bis ich keine Worte mehr hatte.",,,
"I wanted to stare him into understanding, I wanted him to be mad, but he just sat there. He didn't look me in the eye - and then just took his phone, and wrote on it.","I wanted to stare him into understanding, I wanted him to be mad, but he just sat there. He didn't look me in the eye - and then just took his phone, and wrote on it.","Also habe ich versucht zurück zu starren, bis er mich versteht, aber er ist einfach nur da gesessen. Und ohne mir in die Augen zu sehen hat er sein Handy genommen.",,,
"""Sorry""","""Sorry""",“Sorry”,,,
"my phone rang ""I never knew what to say. Can I write instead?""","my phone rang ""I never knew what to say. Can I write instead?""","mein Handy klingelte “Ich wusste nie, was ich sagen sollte. Kann ich dir schreiben?”",,,
"That look on his face, I... I didn't want to be angry anymore. I needed to be sad.","That look on his face, I... I didn't want to be angry anymore. I needed to be sad.","Wie er mich ansah, ich … konnte einfach nicht mehr wütend - ich musste traurig sein,",,,
So I curled next to him and wrote back.,So I curled next to him and wrote back.,also habe ich mich mit dem Rücken zu ihm zusammen gerollt und zurück geschrieben.,,,
"He'd never made me feel seen before. But with how much he wrote to me about ADHD and Autism that evening,","He'd never made me feel seen before. But with how much he wrote to me about ADHD and Autism that evening,","Ich hatte nie das Gefühl gehabt, dass er mich groß beachten würde. Aber vielleicht mit all dem, was er mir über Autismus und ADHS geschrieben hat,",,,
it felt like he understood me better than I myself did.,it felt like he understood me better than I myself did.,"verstand er mich doch besser, als ich mich selbst.",,,
Colorful Dice,Colorful Dice,Colorful Dice,,,
"Ahw, shiny math rocks!","Ahw, shiny math rocks!",Aaah! Die heiligen Steine der Entropie!,,,
It's funny how small moments can put your whole world upside down.,It's funny how small moments can put your whole world upside down.,Wie kleine Momente einem das Leben auf den Kopf stellen können.,,,
It was the first time I ever made a DnD Character. I had no clue what I was doing.,It was the first time I ever made a DnD Character. I had no clue what I was doing.,"Ich hatte wirklich null Plan, als ich meinen ersten DnD Charakter bauen wollte.",,,
"Good thing Markus has been DMing for longer than I live, so he helped me with all the rules and bits and bobs.","Good thing Markus has been DMing for longer than I live, so he helped me with all the rules and bits and bobs.","Aber zum Glück ist Markus einfach länger Spielleiter, as ich lebe. Bei all den Regeln und Entscheidungen war das ultra hilfreich.",,,
"He said I could be anything - as long as it was a tank. After seeing my Twokinds poster, he first suggested me making a druid, but he also mentioned the Barbarian ...","He said I could be anything - as long as it was a tank. After seeing my Twokinds poster, he first suggested me making a druid, but he also mentioned the Barbarian ...","Er sagte ich könnte alles sein! So lange es nicht umfällt, wenn man drauf haut. Wegen meinem Twokinds Poster hat er vorgeschlagen ich könnte doch Druide spielen, aber dann hat er auch den Barbaren erwähnt.",,,
and approaching problems head-first and tearing everything apart while raging ... was just a mood I could get behind.,and approaching problems head-first and tearing everything apart while raging ... was just a mood I could get behind.,Und einfach mit dem Kopf durch die Wand Probleme in einem Rausch von Wut zerprügeln? Das fühl ich schon sehr.,,,
But then came *that* question:,But then came *that* question:,Aber dann diese Frage:,,,
"""Do you want to be a Boy-barian or a Girl-barian?""","""Do you want to be a Boy-barian or a Girl-barian?""",“Möchtest du ein Barbarich oder eine Barbarine sein?”,,,
And that inner turmoil about boys and girls and ... fuck! I can't deal with this so I just shrugged it off.,And that inner turmoil about boys and girls and ... fuck! I can't deal with this so I just shrugged it off.,"und das innere Chaos um Jungen und Mädchen und ey, ich will nicht darüber nachdenken, also habe ich einfach mit den Schultern gezuckt.",,,
"""Okay, then roll for Gender!"". He put a d20 in a cup and gave it to me. ""Even for girl, odd for boy and floor is complicated."", he laughed.","""Okay, then roll for Gender!"". He put a d20 in a cup and gave it to me. ""Even for girl, odd for boy and floor is complicated."", he laughed.","“Dann fragen wir die Würfel!” Er nahm einen W20 und gab ihn mir mit Würfelbecher. “Gerade ist Mädchen, ungerade ist Junge, Boden ist kompliziert?”, er kicherte.",,,
"I didn't appreciate that: ""It's in a cup, how is it supposed to hit the floor?""","I didn't appreciate that: ""It's in a cup, how is it supposed to hit the floor?""","Ich schnaubte: “Wie soll es überhaupt auf dem Boden landen, wenn ich mit dem Becher würfle?”",,,
"His tone was still friendly, but suddenly more serious.","His tone was still friendly, but suddenly more serious.","Immer noch freundlich, aber viel ernster antwortete Markus: ",,,
"""I was meaning to ask what result you'd be hoping for so you need to roll blind. But you may also just throw that die at your DM and see what happens.""","""I was meaning to ask what result you'd be hoping for so you need to roll blind. But you may also just throw that die at your DM and see what happens.""","“Nun gut. Ich wollte dich eigentlich fragen, auf was du hoffst und dafür darfst du das Ergebnis halt nicht sehen. Du kannst natürlich auch einfach einen Würfel auf deinen Spielleiter werfen und schauen, was passiert.”",,,
I threw that die at my DM.,I threw that die at my DM.,Ich habe einfach einen Würfel auf meinen Spielleiter geworfen.,,,
"""So, floor it is?""","""So, floor it is?""",“Also doch Boden?”,,,
I ... I couldn't be mad at that.,I ... I couldn't be mad at that.,"Ja nun, das konnte ich so akzeptieren.",,,
"When he then asked me for my name, I just spat out ""Xavier"".","When he then asked me for my name, I just spat out ""Xavier"".","Als er mich dann nach meinem Namen fragte, habe ich Xavier ausgespuckt.",,,
"""Okay, Xavier. And how do we want to name your Barbarian?"" I ... also couldn't be mad at that.","""Okay, Xavier. And how do we want to name your Barbarian?"" I ... also couldn't be mad at that.","“Okay, Xavier. Und wie nennen wir deinen Barbarix?” Ja nun, auch das konnte ich offenbar so akzeptieren.",,,
"Eventually, we settled on Ruby:","Eventually, we settled on Ruby:",Wir haben uns irgendwann auf Ruby geeignet.,,,
a bearded dwarven women with a strong attitude that - unlike most other dwarves - for some reason really doesn't mind being mistaken for a man.,a bearded dwarven women with a strong attitude that - unlike most other dwarves - for some reason really doesn't mind being mistaken for a man.,"Eine sehr reizbare bärtige Zwergin, die - anders als unter Zwerginnen üblich - sich komischerweise gar nicht daran gestört hat, wenn sie für einen Mann gehalten wurde.",,,
"And weirdly ... that was the first ""female"" character I enjoyed playing.","And weirdly ... that was the first ""female"" character I enjoyed playing.","Und irgenfwie war es der erste “Frauen”-Charakter, den ich gern gespielt habe.",,,
Even tho I really didn't want that die to land on girl.,Even tho I really didn't want that die to land on girl.,"Und das, obwohl ich wirklich darauf gehofft hätte, dass der Würfel nicht auf Mädchen landet.",,,
Dirty Dishes,Dirty Dishes,dreckiges Geschirr,,,
"God I am so ""happy"" mom took care of everything at home. The dishes, the laundry, the trash, the groceries, the food.","God I am so ""happy"" mom took care of everything at home. The dishes, the laundry, the trash, the groceries, the food.","Wie “dankbar” ich bin, dass Mom sich früher um alles gekümmert hat. Spülen, wäsche waschen, Müll rausbringen, Einkaufen, Essen kochen.",,,
"But guess what: when you are at university, they don't provide a mom with your dorm.","But guess what: when you are at university, they don't provide a mom with your dorm.","Blöd nur, dass ein Uni-Wohnheim keine Einbau-Muddi hat.",,,
"And suddenly, you don't just need to study for your first semester, you need to learn to survive on your own. Good luck building good habits with that.","And suddenly, you don't just need to study for your first semester, you need to learn to survive on your own. Good luck building good habits with that.","Und dann musst du nicht nur für dein erstes Semester lernen, sondern auch für alleine überleben. Wie soll man da gute Gewohnheiten lernen?",,,
I got really thin.,I got really thin.,Ich wurde irgendwann richtig dünn.,,,
"I didn't really manage to eat at home, I didn't have the money to eat takeout all the time and oh my god:","I didn't really manage to eat at home, I didn't have the money to eat takeout all the time and oh my god:","Ich habs nicht geschafft mir für zuhause Essen zu besorgen, ich hatte nicht genug Geld für dauernd Döner und ich versteh wirklich nicht,",,,
how do students manage to survive in a cafeteria?,how do students manage to survive in a cafeteria?,wie Studis die Mensa überleben.,,,
"I mean: How do they manage to socialise, attend all the lectures, find relationships and even look passable with all that going on?","I mean: How do they manage to socialise, attend all the lectures, find relationships and even look passable with all that going on?","Oder, wie sie dann auch noch Sozialleben, Vorlesungen, Beziehungen und alles hinbekommen, ohne dabei wie Zombies auszusehen.",,,
Is it just me? I don't know.,Is it just me? I don't know.,Oder bin einfach nur ich das Problem? 'weiß nicht.,,,
Who I am glad about tho is Jules. She has an eating order history and someday had enough of seeing my body crumble and decieded to basically adopt me.,Who I am glad about tho is Jules. She has an eating order history and someday had enough of seeing my body crumble and decieded to basically adopt me.,"Ich bin zumindest echt froh über Jules. Sie konnte irgendwann nicht mehr mit ansehen, wie mein Körper zerfällt und hat mich mehr oder weniger adoptiert.",,,
I could never really relate with her former eating discorder thoughts she was probably trying to get out of my head.,I could never really relate with her former eating discorder thoughts she was probably trying to get out of my head.,"Sie hatte große Sorgen, dass ich wie sie eine Essstörung hatte und ehrlich?: So richtig konnte ich ihre ehemaligen Gedanken, die sie mir ausreden wollte, nicht ganz nachfühlen.",,,
But I can't argue against her coping strategies helping my body get the food it needed.,But I can't argue against her coping strategies helping my body get the food it needed.,"Und trotzdem haben ihre Alltags-Hacks echt dabei geholfen, dass mein Körper genug Essen bekommt.",,,
Pile of Paperwork,Pile of Paperwork,Stapel an Papierkram,,,
I don't recognize myself anymore.,I don't recognize myself anymore.,Wer bin ich überhaupt noch? ,,,
I've gotten through Uni in time. And working as a teacher brings me so much joy., I've gotten through Uni in time. And working as a teacher brings me so much joy.,Ich bin doch in Regelzeit durch die Uni gekommen. Und ich habe doch meinen Traumberuf!,,,
The kids love me. My colleagues admire me.,The kids love me. My colleagues admire me.,"Die Kinder lieben mich, das Kollegium bewundert mich!",,,
spending nights and weekends to prepare for my lessons so the quick witted kids are challenged and the other kids don't feel left behind.,spending nights and weekends to prepare for my lessons so the quick witted kids are challenged and the other kids don't feel left behind.,"Und ich kann Nächte und Wochenenden damit verbringen meine Stunden vorzubereiten, damit die schnellen Kids sich nicht langweilen und auch niemand abgehängt wird.",,,
I know the good I do for them.,I know the good I do for them.,"Ich weiß, wie gut ich ihnen tue.",,,
But I just keep falling behind.,But I just keep falling behind.,Aber ich schaff das nicht mehr.,,,
It's bad enough to try to reach parents that just won't show interest in their wonderful kids. But at least I can do the right thing for these kids.,It's bad enough to try to reach parents that just won't show interest in their wonderful kids. But at least I can do the right thing for these kids.,"Ich meine es ist schlimm genug sich mit Eltern zu ärgern, die sich null für ihre wundervollen Kinder interessieren. Aber zumindest kann ich da irgendwie den Kindern helfen.",,,
But dealing with parents that insist every flaw their child has is my mistake? I just can't!,But dealing with parents that insist every flaw their child has is my mistake? I just can't!,"Aber Eltern, die jeden scheiß Fehler von ihrem Kind bei mir suchen? Das geht nicht!",,,
And I am more and more afraid of making mistakes.,And I am more and more afraid of making mistakes.,Und ich habe immer mehr Angst vor Fehlern.,,,
I mean if all the usually good kids have worse grades in my class am I actually doing something wrong with how I teach?,I mean if all the usually good kids have worse grades in my class am I actually doing something wrong with how I teach?,"Ich meine wenn die sonst besten Kinder bei mir immer schlechtere Noten haben, liegt es vielleicht doch an meiner Lehre?",,,
Maybe I shouldn't have them do so many projects and do more tests like everybody else.,Maybe I shouldn't have them do so many projects and do more tests like everybody else.,Vielleicht sind die ganzen Projekte ja doch keine gute Idee und ich sollte einfach wie alle anderen auch mehr Tests schreiben.,,,
If only I could bring myself to start grading...,If only I could bring myself to start grading...,Wenn ich den Scheiß nur korrigeren würde.,,,
I get more and more irritated. And the classroom noise that once brought joy is starting to give me anxiety.,I get more and more irritated. And the classroom noise that once brought joy is starting to give me anxiety.,Aber ich werde einfach nur immer reizbarer. Ich bekomme Panik von dem Toben und Lachen der Kinder obwohl ich doch genau das lieben möchte.,,,
I can't even bring myself to reply to Jules anymore because I know I'm losing weight again and I can't have her be worried about me.,I can't even bring myself to reply to Jules anymore because I know I'm losing weight again and I can't have her be worried about me.,"Und ich schaffe es nicht einmal mehr auf Jules zu antworten, weil ich weiß ich habe wieder abgenommen und sie kann sich doch nicht schon wieder Sorgen um mich machen.",,,
She deserves to see the best version of myself. So do the kids.,She deserves to see the best version of myself. So do the kids.,Sie verdient es mich in voller Blüte zu sehen, meine Klasse auch!,,
And I know all of this will get better if I just pull myself together.,And I know all of this will get better if I just pull myself together.,"Und ich weiß das wird besser, wenn ich mich zusammen reiße.",,,
Just breathe and work. I have chosen the right path through life.,Just breathe and work. I have chosen the right path through life.,Atmen und arbeiten. Ich habe die richtigen Entscheidungen getroffen.,,,
I must be okay.,I must be okay.,Mir muss es gut gehen.,,,
Doctors Note,Doctors Note,Arztbrief,,,
In hindsight I don't know if going to uni was the right decision.,In hindsight I don't know if going to uni was the right decision.,"Inzwischen bin ich mir nicht sicher, ob Uni wirklich die richtige Entscheidung war.",,,
I doubt many professors would recommend me to come again.,I doubt many professors would recommend me to come again.,Ich weiß meine Profs würden es mir nicht nochmal empfehlen.,,,
"Me, the lazy student that just lacks the discipline to come to their lectures and do their assignments and learn for their exams.","Me, the lazy student that just lacks the discipline to come to their lectures and do their assignments and learn for their exams.","Wer will schon so ein faules Studi haben, dem die Disziplin für Vorlesungen besuchen, Hausaufgaben erledigen und für Prüfungen lernen gänzlich fehlt.",,,
"Sorry prof, I wanted to come but there was no class for me. ","Sorry prof, I wanted to come but there was no class for me. ","Herr von und zu Prof, ich wäre ja gern gekommen, aber es gab keine Veranstaltungen für mich.",,,
"I didn't sign up to study math, biology and art history. I came here to study education.","I didn't sign up to study math, biology and art history. I came here to study education.","Weil ich habe mich nicht für Mathe, Biologie und Kunstgeschichte eingeschrieben, sondern für Lehramt.",,,
And my dear Mr. Professor:,And my dear Mr. Professor:,Und mein lieber Prof:,,,
"seeing your lacklustre lectures, I don't think there's much I can learn from you.","seeing your lacklustre lectures, I don't think there's much I can learn from you.","wenn ich mir ihre Foliensätze so ansehe, glaube ich nichti Sie können oder wollen mir viel von Didaktik erzählen.",,,
"So, rather than wasting my time on advanced algebra, I spend it on the student council to organize support I would have needed but didn't get.","So, rather than wasting my time on advanced algebra, I spend it on the student council to organize support I would have needed but didn't get.","Also statt meine Zeit mit Algebra zu verschwenden, habe ich im Fachschaftsrat die Unterstützung für Andere organisiert, die mir selbst immer gefehlt hatte.",,,
I have never worked or learned so much in my entire life.,I have never worked or learned so much in my entire life.,Und ich hab noch nie in meinem Leben so viel geschafft oder gelernt.,,,
This is also where I got diagnosed by peer review.,This is also where I got diagnosed by peer review.,Da habe ich auch meine Diagnose per Peer-Review erhalten.,,,
Who would have guessed that creating a social activity without alcohol or noise would attract all the neurodivergent students.,Who would have guessed that creating a social activity without alcohol or noise would attract all the neurodivergent students?,"Wer hätte gedacht, dass ich mit der Orga einer sozialen Aktivität ohne Alkohol und Lärm so viele neurodivergente Studis kennen lernen würde?",,,
This is also why I would maybe still do it all over again:,This is also why I would maybe still do it all over again:,Und dafür würde ich es alles auch nochmal machen.,,,
Because these beautiful people very probably saved my life by not giving up on me and helping me get professional help.,Because these beautiful people very probably saved my life by not giving up on me and helping me get professional help.,"Zumal mir diese wundervollen Menschlis auch vermutlich das Leben gerettt haben, weil sie mir geholfen haben, professionelle Hilfe zu bekommen.",,,
"My therapist was somewhat old-fashioned and I got to learn from experience why deep psychology isn't recommended for autism or ADHD,","My therapist was somewhat old-fashioned and I got to learn from experience why deep psychology isn't recommended for autism or ADHD,","Gut, meine Therapeuthin war etwas altmodisch und hat ganz gut demonstriert, warum Tiefenpsychologie bei ADHS und Auti nicht im Leitfaden steht.",,,
but she didn't think I had that anyway.,but she didn't think I had that anyway.,"Aber naja, sie meinte ich hätte das ja eh nicht.",,,
"So we talked a lot about my depression, my sense of self and how it evolved from my past.","So we talked a lot about my depression, my sense of self and how it evolved from my past.","Also haben wir über meine Depression geredet, über mein Selbstbild und, wie das aus meiner Vergangenheit entstanden ist.",,,
She was a very good listener and had a gift for putting her finger on hurtful thoughts.,She was a very good listener and had a gift for putting her finger on hurtful thoughts.,Sie konnte auch sehr gut zuhöhren und hatte ein großartiges Talent dafür den Finger immer genau in die Wunde zu legen.,,,
"She was never gentle in doing that, but she was right about one thing:","She was never gentle in doing that, but she was right about one thing:","Sie war nie besonders sanft dabei, aber in einer Sache hatte sie wirklich Recht:",,,
"Old thoughts are here to stay, but they can be rearranged.","Old thoughts are here to stay, but they can be rearranged.","Alte Gedanken gehen nicht einfach weg, aber man kann sie neu sortieren.",,,
I sometimes wish I could go back in time to save myself from Lukas.,I sometimes wish I could go back in time to save myself from Lukas.,"Manchmal würde ich gern in der Zeit zurückreisen, um mich vor Lukas zu retten.",,,
Sometimes I even want to fight him one last time to make him feel how much he hurt me.,Sometimes I even want to fight him one last time to make him feel how much he hurt me.,"Manchmal will ich auch einfach noch einmal mit ihm kämpfen, damit er fühlen muss, wie sehr er mir weh getan hat.",,,
"I don't like these thoughts, because all they do is make my head spiral into an endless void of anger and doubt.","I don't like these thoughts, because all they do is make my head spiral into an endless void of anger and doubt.","Ich mag diese Gedanken nicht, weil sie nichts als Spiralen voller Wut und Selbstzweifel schaffen.",,,
"So on a calm mind, I just hope he learned his lesson so his next love doesn't need to become a survivor.","So on a calm mind, I just hope he learned his lesson so his next love doesn't need to become a survivor.","Mit einem klaren Kopf also wünsche ich mir vor allem, dass er daraus gelernt hat, damit seine nächste Liebe nicht den gleichen Scheiß überleben muss.",,,
But do I regret being one?,But do I regret being one?,Aber bereue ich meinen Scheiß?,,,
I mean it has made me go to therapy and that was a good thing.,I mean it has made me go to therapy and that was a good thing.,Ich meine ich hab deswegen Therapie genommen und das war gut.,,,
My therapist was pretty young and still in training.,My therapist was pretty young and still in training.,"Mein Therapeut war zwar sehr jung und noch in der Ausbildung,",,,
Talking to *him* about sex never really worked for me.,Talking to *him* about sex never really worked for me.,also habe ich mit *ihm* nie wirklich über Sex reden können.,,,
So I still don't know what to do about my cravings. I'd rather not have them but I can't deny they exist.,So I still don't know what to do about my cravings. I'd rather not have them but I can't deny they exist.,Was ich also mit meinen Bedürfnissen anfangen soll? Sie sind halt da und ich will sie nicht wirklich haben.,,,
At least he gave me the tools to figure it out on my own.,At least he gave me the tools to figure it out on my own.,"Zumindest hat er mir gezeigt, wie ich das später selbst klären kann.",,,
"Old thoughts are here to stay, he always said. But you can choose how to react.","Old thoughts are here to stay, he always said. But you can choose how to react.","Alte Gedanken gehen nicht weg davon, dass man sie ignoriert, sagt er gern. Aber man kann sich entscheiden, wie man auf sie reagiert.",,,
"And while I choose to not react to my cravings for now, I can choose something different in the future.","And while I choose to not react to my cravings for now, I can choose something different in the future.","Also entscheide ich mich, dass ich erstmal nicht auf diese Bedürfnisse reagiere und weiß ich kann mich später umentscheiden.",,,
He also helped me manage the gauntlet that is an ADHD diagnosis. I suspect I wouldn't have the executive skills to get that on my own.,He also helped me manage the gauntlet that is an ADHD diagnosis. I suspect I wouldn't have the executive skills to get that on my own.,Und er hat mir auf dem steinigen Weg zu einer ADHS-Diagnose geholfen. Ich glaube nicht ich hätte das alleine organisiert bekommen.,,,
So I guess I got my medication thanks to Lukas?,So I guess I got my medication thanks to Lukas?,Also habe ich Lukas indierekt meine Medis zu verdanken?,,,
And I can tell when to brace for my period because the weird urge to make my ex hit some very hard ground is quite specific.,And I can tell when to brace for my period because the weird urge to make my ex hit some very hard ground is quite specific.,"Naja und ich weiß, wann ich mich auf meine Periode einstellen sollte: Denn dieses Bedürfnis, dass ich meinen Ex mit einem sehr hartem Boden bekannt machen möchte, ist praktischerweise sehr spezifisch für mein PMS.",,,
I learned a lot during my voluntary year.,I learned a lot during my voluntary year.,Ich habe so viel in meinem FSJ gelernt.,,,
It taught me the value of failing and feedback. It taught me how difficult school was for teachers too.,It taught me the value of failing and feedback. It taught me how difficult school was for teachers too.," Ich habe gelernt, wie wertvoll Scheitern ist. Ich habe gelernt, wie schwer es auch Lehrkräfte an der Schule haben.",,,
And it taught me how messed up my school was because for the first time I've met a peer group that made me feel welcome from the day we met.,And it taught me how messed up my school was because for the first time I've met a peer group that made me feel welcome from the day we met.,"Und ich habe gelernt, wie kaputt meine Klasse war, weil ich zum Ersten mal in meinem Leben eine Gruppe kennen durfte, die mich willkommen hieß.",,,
"I mean my classmates could not believe me having a boyfriend, let alone one that was older than me. But my fellow volunteers?","I mean my classmates could not believe me having a boyfriend, let alone one that was older than me. But my fellow volunteers?","Meine Schulklasse konnte sich ja nichmal vorstellen, dass ich überhaupt einen Freund hatte, erst recht keinen ältern. Aber die anderen FSJ-ler?",,,
"When I told them about being single, they were genuinely surprised. I was lovable to them and that was just a huge relief for me at the time.","When I told them about being single, they were genuinely surprised. I was lovable to them and that was just a huge relief for me at the time.","Als ich gesagt habe, dass ich gerade keinen Freund habe, konnte sich das niemand vorstellen. Ich war liebenswürdig für sie! Was eine Erleichterung.",,,
But the best thing about these seminar weeks was that old oven they had at the hostel.,But the best thing about these seminar weeks was that old oven they had at the hostel.,Aber das Beste an den Seminarwochen war die Kuschelecke im Gruppenraum.,,,
It was an old farmhouse with wooden beams everywhere and a nice warm nuck above the cob fireplace.,It was an old farmhouse with wooden beams everywhere and a nice warm nuck above the cob fireplace.,"Es war in einem alten Gehöft mit wunderschönem Gebälk und einem gemütlichen, warmen Platz auf dem Lehmofen.",,,
"One evening, Alex and Deanah went up with me to be cozy and talk. I told them about my comic stash, we cuddled, we cobbled when suddenly,","One evening, Alex and Deanah went up with me to be cozy and talk. I told them about my comic stash, we cuddled, we cobbled when suddenly,","An einem Abend haben Alex und Diana sich da mit mir zum quasseln verabredet. Ich habe ihnen von meiner Comic-Kiste erzählt, wir haben gekuschelt, gekabbelt und plötzlich",,,
"Lukas sat on top of me, again. A pearl of sweat dropped from his nose onto my throat again. He started undoing his shirt again.","Lukas sat on top of me, again. A pearl of sweat dropped from his nose onto my throat again. He started undoing his shirt again.","saß Lukas wieder auf mir, eine Perle Schweiß fiel wieder von seiner Nase auf meinen Hals. Er hat wieder sein Hemd aufgemacht.",,,
"I was starting to drift away, when Deanah shook me.","I was starting to drift away, when Deanah shook me.","Ich war dabei wegzudriften, als mich plötzlich Diana geschüttelt hat.",,,
I was so scared.,I was so scared.,Ich hatte Panik.,,,
They were so worried.,They were so worried.,Sie waren so besorgt.,,,
"They asked so many questions, about what just happend, so I told them how I messed up with Lukas","They asked so many questions, about what just happend, so I told them how I messed up with Lukas","Sie haben mich gefragt, was gewesen ist also habe ich ihnen erzählt, wie ich mit Lukas verkackt habe",,,
and Deanah just tried to talk me into believing I got raped.,and Deanah just tried to talk me into believing I got raped.,"und Diana wollte mir plötzlich einreden, dass ich vergewaltigt wurde!",,,
I just ran away.,I just ran away.,Ich bin weggerannt.,,,
It felt like everything was my fault. What if Lukas learned what I just said?,It felt like everything was my fault. What if Lukas learned what I just said?,"Es hat sich alles angefühlt wie meine Schuld. Was wenn Lukas davon erfährt, was ich gesagt hatte?",,,
I saw a playground and just started hitting this stupid wiggle clown.,I saw a playground and just started hitting this stupid wiggle clown.,ch habe einen Spielplatz gesehen und einfach diese dumme Clown-Wippe verprügelt!,,,
I didn't really notice how one of the adults came and sat near me on a swing.,I didn't really notice how one of the adults came and sat near me on a swing.,"Ich habe gar nicht gemerkt, wie sich einer der Betreuer auf eine Schaukel in meiner Nähe gesetzt hatte.",,,
I eventually joined them.,I eventually joined them.,Irgendwann habe ich mich dann auch dazu gesetzt.,,,
"We talked a lot about the stars that night. How we alone can give meaning to the whole universe, because we gave it the ability to understand itself.","We talked a lot about the stars that night. How we alone can give meaning to the whole universe, because we gave it the ability to understand itself.","Wir haben über die Sterne geredet. Darüber, dass allein wir dem Universum einen Sinn geben, weil das Universum sich ohne uns nicht verstehen könnte.",,,
To see its beauty. It helped a lot.,To see its beauty. It helped a lot.,Weil es sich ohne uns nicht schön finden könnte. Das hat mir gut getan.,,,
"In our next seminar week, there was a workshop about consent.","In our next seminar week, there was a workshop about consent.",Zur nächsten Seminarwoche gab es einen Workshop über Consent.,,,
"I was unsure at first, but signed up for it nonetheless.","I was unsure at first, but signed up for it nonetheless.","Ich war mir erst nicht sicher, aber hab mich dann doch eingetraten.",,,
"This is where I understood that Lukas never asked me, that I froze because he jumped me, and that I am not alone.","This is where I understood that Lukas never asked me, that I froze because he jumped me, and that I am not alone.","Da habe ich verstanden, dass Lukas mich nie gefragt hatte, dass ich eingefroren bin, weil er mich überumpelt hat, dass er hätte mitbekommen müssen, wie ich weggetreten bin und, dass ich damit wirklich nicht alleine bin.",,,
"It still took me some time to fully accept, that I was not to blame.","It still took me some time to fully accept, that I was not to blame.","Es hat trotzdem noch eine Weile gebraucht, bis die Schuldgefühle weg waren.",,,
